Great TV Shows That Nearly Were: Part IV...

Here are some more entries. 

The Other Woman has addd: 

Eight Out of Ten Cats Does Cuntdown: Panellists from Eight Out of Ten Cats throw leather-bound dictionaries at a line-up of Tory politicians. Coconut Shy rules apply.

I have added: 

Splay for Today: Unemployed actors and actresses show off a range of fuck cavities as they turn to prostitution to make ends meet.

Great TV Shows That Nearly Were: Part III...

My latest additions is:

Grand Designs: Some bloke who loves architecture shows moneyed but clueless middle-class twonks try to create a better home. 

Gran Designs: A lentil-eating, well-meaning gimp shows moneyed but clueless middle-class twonks how to create a better elderly relative.

The Other Woman also came up with the following: 

Through the Keyhole: Panel show that used to be presented by bespectacled vo-wel-el-on-ga-tor Loyd Grossman before he went off to make pasta sauces.

Through the Beyhole: A round-up of the idiotic nuggets spewed out of the ass of Beyoncé and other urban music stars. Russell Kane presents.

Great TV Shows That Nearly Were: Part II...

One-day International Cricket: Live! A full-day match featuring some cricketers from somewhere else other than England. That could mean Wales. Or even Scotland.

One-gay International Cricket: Live! A full 24 hours as the cameras film a solitary gay man or woman from another country playing cricket on their own. Richie Benaud and a token woman commentate. Other sporting talking heads pretend not to be homophobic.

Great TV Shows That Nearly Were: Part I...

The Other Woman refers to me as a Walking Filth Bucket but she can be equally disgusting, so I am inventing a new game.

It's called Great TV Shows That Nearly Were and the rules are simple: take a real TV show and switch one letter or add and remove one letter to make it a more interesting TV show. For additional points, you can also give a brief listing for the show.

Here is an example:
Great Canal Journeys: A well-famous actor enjoys another exciting adventure of discovery with his lovely wife.
Great Anal Journeys: See above.

This could run and run...

Wise Words...

UK protest singer, folk guru and all-round good guy Billy Bragg has been touring a new album, Shine a Light, with collaborator and US singer-songwriter Joe Henry. 

The album chronicles in blues and country music form a rail journey they made across the US from Chicago to Los Angeles. The album is fab and I'm a long-time Bragg convert, but I was very impressed with Henry, whose work I'd never come across.

Henry also said something very wise about the Trump victory in the recent US election. 

He said: 'This is where we are. It's not who we are.' 

I think that's as true of the Trump victory as it is of the UK Brexit vote. Both nations are currently on a path of anger, hatred and racism that seems intent on banishing any idea of compassion. 

It's not a good path. But it's also not a final destination.

So Long Leonard Cohen...

There will be more moving and coherent tributes paid to Leonard Cohen than these ramblings, but the news of his death earlier this week genuinely moved me.

I was a late convert to Cohen, thanks to a former girlfriend, and his music, lyrics and wry sense of self-deprecating humour have offered me peace, wisdom and entertainment for nearly two decades. His career has obviously lasted much longer than that, but the great thing about coming to any fanboy party late is that there is more material to enjoy.

Various Positions and I'm Your Man were my entrees to Cohen's music, then I started listening to his earlier work. His last CD, You Want it Darker, is a pleasure I have yet to enjoy but it's purchased and is ready to go.

I plan to wait until I have a quiet hour with just me, the cat and a glass of wine before pressing play, though. I want to savour the moment.

As you'd expect from a great lyricist and an acclaimed poet and novelist, Cohen was also a great story-teller. My favourite Cohen story related to his meeting with Janis Joplin and the story was often told as a prelude to the song, Chelsea Hotel.

In Cohen's own words:

'This is a story that I tell every time I sing this song and I'm going to keep on telling it as long as I'm singing. It's a story about a young woman that I met in an elevator in a hotel in New York City. One of the greatest singers that I ever heard. I was wandering around all night. That was a great elevator, you know. It was only about four feet wide. It was the very hub of my social activity. I didn't get around very much, but sometimes I'd meet somebody in that elevator. Around three in the morning, I used to see this other dismal person in this elevator. And I looked into her eyes. She avoided my eyes and it became clear to me that she wasn't looking for me. She was looking for Kris Kristofferson. I said, 'I am Kris Kristofferson.' She said, 'I thought you were a lot taller.' I said, 'I am a lot taller but it's just photography.' And the truth be told, I wasn't looking for her; she was a kind of sad-looking girl with knotty, curling hair and a very bad complexion. I wasn't looking for her. I said, 'Well, the truth be told, I'm looking for the granddaughter of Mae West.' She didn't even exist. And one thing lead to another. Well, we found ourselves together. And it was a long time later after she died that I wrote this song for her. Her name was Janis Joplin. It was at the Chelsea Hotel.'

Thanks Leonard. You are Kris Kristofferson. And remain so much more.