The Best Joke in the World (About The Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick)...

Here is my first attempt at writing the best joke in the world about the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick. I will be coming back to this and refining it in the coming weeks.

The thing about the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick is that real pencil enthusiasts who want to visit a pencil museum already know of its existence. So they will visit the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick, often with flagrantly gay abandon, because they are familiar with its location and with the many pencil-related treats it has to explore. In short, the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick offers a fascinating day out for in-the-know pencil enthusiasts.

One problem with the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick, however, is that non-pencil enthusiasts who may be pencil-curious and want to visit a pencil museum may not know about the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick. So they will be unable to visit the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick as they are not familiar with its location.

A solution to this pencil-based problem does exist, though.

Real pencil enthusiasts who want to visit the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick and already know about its existence could offer to show non-pencil enthusiasts who want to visit a pencil museum where the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick actually is. They could even offer to meet with them in a mutually convenient location, then show them the general direction they need to travel.

This way, the non-pencil enthusiasts who wanted to visit the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick would be lead.

Danger Signs...

I have broken a toe at BJJ. Consequently, I am not training. At anything. Instead, I am eating and drinking. While I love both eating and drinking, it seems that doing quite a lot of this with no exercise is seeing me pile weight on. 

I have been comfort-eatng for a while now, but training has ensured I've stayed around 13 and a half stone, which is about where I live. But I am now up to 14 stone, so I figure I need to get busy or I won't hit the 12.12 stone fighting weight deadline for my first BJJ tournament of the year in July. I should be fine with this and I know it's no big drama. I've been injured before and I've put weight on before. I will heal up, then sort it out. 

I am more concerned with the fact that this usually minor thing and a combination of work stress is making me feel a bit sorry for myself, and I fear I am turning into a whining cock-nob. I basically need to get a grip.

Speaking of which... 

I had a dream last week that me and the Missus were walking down the high street and I had an erection, so I subtly adjusted myself in my jeans and carried on walking. Then an elderly male relative approached me and cupped my genitals with an 'Um' sound, then worked his way up the rest of my cock with an 'Hmm!' noise. He then smiled a creepy smile and walked off

This was a slightly freaky dream to say the least. I told the Missus, the Other Woman and my Hippy Work Colleague. Both looked slightly shocked, then burst out laughing. To be perfectly honest, I was expecting a more sympathetic response.