When I realised that redundancy was not a vague possibility but a distinct probability, which not surprisingly was about the same time the people in charge of the magazine where I worked changed its frequency, I took some steps to put a few things in motion. And the first of these was to organise a play reading for the end of the year.
There were two ideas behind this.
The first was that it would get me writing my own work again. I had written nothing new for about 18 months and this was largely due to the demands of the day job. But I knew I had to create time to get back into the swing of things, so I gave myself the very real deadline of writing a new play for an advertised rehearsed reading with paying punters.
The second idea was that if I was serious about eventually securing work writing for the TV soaps I loved, then I had to have a new script that could act as a calling card. So my new play, The Selkie, is a bit domestic in setting and quite simple in plot. But I am hoping it also showcases my love of strong dialogue and an ability to write sympathetic characters.
The first rehearsal is now in three days time and I have just completed the first draft of the script. Then I have another rehearsal a week later. Three days after that, the play gets the first of its two public outings before a paying audience.
I am both excited by this prospect and slightly terrified. I have time to tidy the script up before the opening rehearsal, then I have an additional week to take in any major edits the first rehearsal throws up.
It's great to finish the first draft of something new again. But I'm also aware the real work is about to begin...
On the plus side, I have no job to distract my attention and sap my energy.
So. I am now unemployed after being made redundant about seven weeks ago. I am both heartbroken and delighted by this sudden turn of events.
I am heartbroken because the magazine I have worked on, which me and my team had given about another 18 months of shelf life to by increasing its sales last year, has been closed. We were successful as a fortnightly title and in rude health after the sales increases. Then a decision was made above our heads to change its frequency to a weekly one... and sales plummeted, leading to its eventual closure.
Result: I was offered redundancy and I took it.
I'll miss the people because I've worked at the company for 22 years and I have a couple of very close friends there. I'll still see them, though. I'll miss the salary, too, because there's no guarantee that I'll ever earn that amount again.
But the company has become so badly managed that reckless decisions like the one taken on the magazine I edited were allowed to be made with no scrutiny or accountability. Staff morale has also fallen so low that it's now a truly toxic environment to work in.
To add insult to injury, there are not enough staff and the ones that are left are doing far too much work. A lot of the good ones simply want to go. I hope they get their wish. Staying there is damaging them and you can see how the increased workload is affecting people.
I am delighted to be out of that. I escaped with redundancy and that gives me and the Missus options. Not having my working week structured by those hours, routines and pressures is going to take some getting used to. But it's such a massive relief. Working there had made me ill. If I'd have stayed, it would have made me much worse.
But onwards and upwards and time to plan a new life.
Step one is to put some new short-term structures in place so I can write my own stuff until the end of the year. Consequently, I now have writing blocks planned in on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I also train on these days, too, so I should be able to do BJJ on Monday and Friday, and double bank hapkido on Wednesday. Then Tuesday is date day with the Missus and Thursday is flexible. And weekends are party time.
For step two, we've made some longer-term plans, The Missus wants to pot and do some sort of ceramics placement, and I want to eventually write for one of the big soaps. So we are sussing out how to make these things happen. We're planning a fuck-off adventure at some point next year, too.
If a new job falls into my lap, I may take it. But I am in no rush. I certainly won't go back into an environment like the one I have just left, though. Redundancy has given me time and options, and I need to make sure I take the chance to fully explore them.
At 49, I have the time and money to reboot everything. And I intend to have a bloody good go at doing exactly that. And, if I fail, I'm a really good chief sub and writer. I can pull a cracking pint as well...
