Monday, April 29, 2019

A Content Consumer Recommends...


Here is a thing I watched recently. It first aired in December 2018, but I was late catching up with it. I'm glad I did, though...

TV: Brexit: The Uncivil War

US funnyman Tom Lehrer famously remarked ‘Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize’. This expression of incredulity has chimed with me a lot recently because I want to write something about Brexit. As a writer drawn to both satire and drama, however, I’m still unsure how to do it. 

How can you satirise the shambles of Brexit? The cast on the right is essentially a series of evil and privileged PG Wodehouse characters. Equally, how can you dramatise it? By examining how the left are directionless and treating it as a tragedy about lost ideals? 

Events move very quickly, too. It’s a hard subject to pin down. 

So I was fascinated to finally see James Graham’s comedy-drama, Brexit: The Uncivil War, first screened on Channel 4 and now available on All 4. I was intrigued by what he’d write. 

Graham’s script largely focuses on one element of Brexit, namely the role played by maverick political strategist and Leave campaigner Dominic Cummings (played by Benedict Cumberbatch with a Bobby Charlton combover).

During the story, viewers see Cummings lured back into the political fold to form the official Leave Campaign team. Then Cummings and his team win the designation as the official Leave Campaign Party, they get Michael Gove and Boris Johnson onboard, and Cummings finds a way to hack the political system using digital technology to micro target and engage disengaged voters. From then on, the Leave and the Remain campaigns slug it out until Cumming’s pyrrhic Brexit victory is secured. 

The 90-minute show opens with Cummings theorising in an office storeroom in a straight-to-camera piece. Intercut with this are scenes of him being interviewed for jobs, where he is introduced as the man behind Brexit. The opening titles then present a potted history of how the UK joined the EU and take viewers up to David Cameron announcing his referendum on the UK retaining membership. 

It’s a tidy piece of writing. Viewers meet the central character of Cummings and get a taste of his unorthodox ways and behaviour, and anyone not up to speed with how we got to Brexit is brought up to date. Graham’s script is excellent at using TV shorthand in this way. And it needs to be because, defined timeframe or not, there’s a huge amount of ground to cover and many players to introduce over its 14-month tale

Another time-saving device Graham employs is the use of captions to introduce key players. So actors Simon Paisley Day and John Heffernan secretly meet in the National Gallery to plot, and on-screen titles tell us the former is ‘Douglas Carswell… UKIP’s only MP… Leave’ and the former is ‘Matthew Elliott… Political lobbyist… Leave’. 

Next, viewers are introduced to Corrie ex Lee Boardman as Aaron Banks (‘UKIP donor… Leave…’) and the man whose political career he bankrolls, Nigel Farage (‘Former UKIP Leader… Very Leave…). This is a smartly written scene full of character information in shorthand form. 

Banks, dressed in shorts and a polo shirt, is attending a garden party at a plush country seat. The rest of the guests are in formal dinner wear and sup champagne. In contrast, he grabs a can of lager, then calmly watches the other guests run for cover when a helicopter carrying Farage lands in the grounds. 

An uncouth Farage interrupting a society event is a nice metaphor for his bulldozer presence in British politics. In a later cute scene-cum-metaphor, Farage and Banks are later seen watching the TV as they lose the official Leave Campaign Party designation. The TV, the only light source illuminating the room, is turned off and both men are left sitting on a sofa together, clueless and in the dark. 

There are also a couple of other funny scenes that deserve noting. One involves Gove and Johnson spying one another on opposite balconies at the opera, and the other sees Remain Campaign Director Craig Oliver on a conference call with a horrifyingly jocular David Cameron and a serpent-like Peter Mandelson. 

There are serious moments, though, heralded by intentional changes of pace. 

The first happens when the rival campaigns are officially launched amid a montage of news footage and various politicians repeating their respective campaign mantras. Viewers then see Remain Campaign Director Oliver confused about why their campaign message isn’t landing at a focus group. Then one frustrated woman from a poor constituency invites him to ‘Come to where I’m from’, before explaining how economic uncertainty is not a concern for people who are already deprived. In one of the few emotional outbursts in Graham’s script, she continues, shouting: ‘I'm sick of feeling like I am nothing. Like I know nothing!'

A similar moment to this occurs when Cummings, Elliott and Carswell visit a rundown estate to meet one of the latter’s constituents. The unemployed man they visit tells the trio ‘No-one from a political party has knocked on that door since the 1980s.’

Both moments offer a beautiful articulation of the anger, frustration and abandonment felt by people neglected by many of the current political class. 

The other serious moment occurs following the murder of Jo Cox MP. Viewers see this news broadcast on TV sets at the HQs of both campaigns. A sombre black tile appears on the screen giving the facts about her death. 

The next scene sees Cummings and Oliver on opposite platforms at Moorgate Tube Station. The two go for a pint and they discuss the day’s events, wondering whether they're creating a politics that is 'Unsophisticated, uncivilised and, worst of all, unkind' and ‘Feeding a toxic culture where nobody trusts or believes anything.’ 

It’s another genuine moment of reflection in a fast-moving script. 

The drama closes with polling day and the result. There’s also a neat post-script scene set in 2020. This shows Cummings being asked about his role in Brexit in front of a committee investigating the legalities of the campaign. Cummings argues his vision to crash the political system and reboot it was not flawed. But the politicians were. He argues: ‘You rebooted the same operating system of self-serving and small-thinking bullshit.’ 

It’s a thought-provoking ending, particularly when considering how things have moved on since this drama was first aired in December 2018. 

It's a fabulous piece of telly. 

Thursday, April 25, 2019

How to Be 50: Part VI...


I am a lucky man when it comes to women. I punch well above with my weight with my much-loved and frequently sarcastic wife, and I am lucky enough to have grown and kept close friendships with several other female friends I've developed close ties with. 

I also have my Other Woman. The latter and her long-suffering boyfriend visited Brooks Towers recently. Earlier in the week, she'd promised me that she'd bought me a 50th birthday present like no other. With the Other Woman, this could mean it was an incredibly tender and thoughtful present demonstrating how much she values our friendship... or it was something vaguely trashy and insulting designed to entertain her and everyone else at my expense. 

Two choices: Punters place your bets... now! 

Within her bag of gifts were many things that included the number '50'. These included 50 Jewish Home Cooking Recipes, the album 50 by Rick Astley, a 50p piece, 50% cocoa vegan chocolate, the comedy film, 50 Shades of Black, and many other 50-based things. 

The Other Woman clearly remains an adorable, piss-taking idiot. And now she's passed her Second Dan at Hapkido, she's an adorable, piss-taking I have to bow to in class. 

Fuck! I may leave the country...

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

How to Be 50: Part V...


I have now done my first Hapkido lesson and my first No-Gi BJJ lesson as a 50-year-old. The pre-birthday aim was that I always intended to train until I was 50. Post-birthday, that goalpost has now shifted to 55, but both classes still offered nice moments.

At hapkido, I was running the class and I'd planned to do lots of pad striking. But the lesson time sort of ran away with me. That was a shame as I'd picked up a couple of nice new punching drills from the MMA classes I've been attending and I wanted to bring these into the hapkido class. 

I then did an open mat session at No-Gi BJJ, which involved 90 minutes of straight sparring. I was ruined by the end of this, but I got a couple of things right alongside getting lovingly murdered by the senior belts. I also got to wear my new Masters Division rash guard (pictured above), which was a birthday present.

The rash guard is made by a friend who designs BJJ clothing and fight wear. His company is called Bain and I have quite a few of his t-shirts, too. One of these is part of a series of ranked t-shirts with the name of your BJJ belt colour written on it in that colour. 

Being a blue belt at BJJ may be a humble brag to many. But I wear my ranked t-shirt with a tiny bit of pride as I know how hard I worked to get that blue belt. Sadly, somebody recently looked at my ranked t-shirt and she told me that her daughter used to like that band as well.

So one of my favourite shirts can also be mistaken for a fan t-shirt of the band, Blue. Humble brag crushed. Move on...

How to Be 50: Part IV...


The recent birthday trip to Whitby was ace for many other reasons than seeing lots of cool stuff and doing research for the graphic novel I'm currently writing with a friend.

My favourite conversation from the weekend went as follows when myself and the Missus were trying to find the Gothic Bazaar marketplace.

The Missus: 'Do you know where we're going?' 

Me: 'Just follow the Bride of Dracula and the Ghost Pirate.'
The Missus: 'That's a good plan.'

We will never have that conversation again while sane. 

Saturday, April 20, 2019

How to Be 50: Part III...


The Missus took me away to Whitby for the weekend for my 50th birthday. Here are some of the highlights with me in sort of travel writer journalist mode…

199 Steps & Church of St Mary
The 199 steps leading from Church Street up to the Church of St Mary offer breath-taking views of Whitby town and the harbor. The fact they also lead up to the church featured in Dracula make it a must-see attraction for lovers of the Bram Stoker novel. Fans can sit on the benches and look out to sea in the same way that Lucy Westerna does in the book when she chats to the old fishermen just before the Lord-of-the-Undead-carrying ship, Demeter, arrives.

The church itself is quite sweet and well worth a look inside, but the real attraction is the spooky cemetery with its graves of pirates and mariners, and the amazing scenes looking out from the East Cliff into the North Sea.

Whitby Abbey 
The Whitby Abbey complex has just had a reboot and it’s a truly inspiring place to while away two or three hours. 

The entrance, visitor centre and gift shop are all housed in a 17th century mansion. The visitor centre tells the story of the Abbey, which was founded in the seventh century and hosted the Synod of Whitby in 664AD. It then continues its tale through its reinvention as a Benedictine abbey founded after the Norman Conquest to its dissolution under Henry VIII and beyond. 

There’s also a first edition of the novel, Dracula, by Bram Stoker, in a display case at the end of the exhibition. 

But it’s the ruins of the abbey itself that are the real jaw-dropper. Perched on the edge of the East Cliff at Whitby, the imposing ruins are large in scale and still possess genuine beauty and grace. There’s also part of the ceiling still standing at one end, too. 

It’s an amazing place set in a stunning location. It’s utterly beautiful. And it’s less than £10 to get into if you’re an adult.

Whitby Brewery 
The Whitby Brewery does two things really well. 

First off, it brews really excellent beer. My favourite offering was the Whitby Jet Porter, which is smooth and rich with licorice and coffee flavours. The Saltwick Nab Ale is also a really lovely drink, with vanilla and malty tones, and the Whaler is eminently drinkable bitter with a sweet and citrus taste. 

Secondly, the brewery has a shop and a bar on site, so visitors can buy beer from the shop or the pump and chill out in either the indoors bar room or the exterior beer garden. As an added bonus, there are also regular folk music and other gigs on in the bar room. 

It’s an excellent place and it’s all housed a converted barn next door to Whitby Abbey. It’s well worth a visit. And the beer is excellent. And I am repeating this information because it is that good!

Whitby Museum 
We did a Whitby Ghost Walk with local tour guide Dr Crank and he told us several tales about the Hand of Glory, an enchanted tool for burglars made from the severed hand of a hanged man, a magic potion and a lit candle. He also explained how Whitby Museum in Pannett Park had one of the few remaining examples of this in its collection and he encouraged us to pay the place a visit. 

We’re glad we did because it’s a hidden gem among the many treasures that Whitby has to offer. The ground floor houses a great collection of fossils from the Jurassic and Cretaceous periods, plus sections on birds and mammals, textiles, Whitby jet, boat building and much more. The section on the town’s maritime history, James Cook and William Scoresby is fascinating. The Hand of Glory, meanwhile, remains a spooky sight. 

Admission for adults is £5 and that lasts for one calendar year. It’s amazingly good value. My advice: go and enjoy.

Whitby Walks
My Missus took me to Whitby for the Goth Weekend in April and we decided we wanted to do a ghost walk. Online research suggested Dr Crank provided the best of the local tours, so we rocked up at the Whalebone Arch outside the Royal Hotel at half seven… and it was excellent. 

Dr Crank met us, and the rest of the group, and he kept us entertained and informed for about an hour and a quarter. He took us down main roads, side streets and alleyways, and he regaled us with spooky tales about the genesis of Dracula, a horrifying hound, a creepy churchyard coach, bedeviled boozers and several spectres. He also included lots of quirky information about the history of Whitby, including a couple of macabre yarns about the Hand of Glory, an example of which resides at the local museum. 

Dr Crank was an entertaining, knowledgeable and fascinating guide. I loved the additional twist of why he decided to become a full-time tour guide. Sadly, you’ll have to do the tour to find that out. 

Even better, the tour cost £5. Ridiculously cheap for something this good! 

Thursday, April 11, 2019

How to Be 50: Part II...


I was a late starter, but I've now been a martial arts student for the past 16 years. 

I initially started training in the Korean martial art of Hapkido and, alongside this, I boxed for a few years. I've trained in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for about seven years, too, alongside my continuing hapkido studies. This year, I also started training in no-gi Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, wrestling and a bit of MMA. 

To nutshell these experiences and the people I've trained under and with: they've all been nothing short of wonderful.

In reality, I won't ever be the fighter I may have once hoped to be. But I'm doing OK and, alongside developing massively improved fitness and stamina and learning some self-defence skills, training has so many other benefits. 

I met my best friend while doing hapkido and I've made so many other close pals that it seems crazy to think this is something that I once never did. It also majorly helped me deal with stress when the corporate carnage of work got too crazy in my last job. 

One of the greatest benefits of martial arts training, though, is that it keeps you humble and it keeps your perspective on things real. I've now trained with so many good people that I'd never assume I know how to do techniques. I often have a rough idea of how to do a thing and through constant training you slowly refine this thing. Then once you think you have it, a whole new area of improvement and correction opens up. 

And the cycle of improvement goes on. 

This is excellent for instilling humility and killing arrogance and training martial arts keeps finding ways to re-inform and repeat this lesson in humility. A case in point was this week. 

I'm generally one of the older people at the schools where I train and I do get off on this a little bit. I'm often exhausted and a bit broken by the end of a two or three-hour session, but I take some pride in the fact I'm still hanging with people some 25 or 15 years younger than me. 

Then a new guy joined the gym and he's 69. Not only is he 69, but he's got skills and he puts in the graft. That dude is my new hero. I will never complain about old age again. It's just not a valid excuse any more.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

How to Be 50: Part I...

In three days, I turn 50. To many approaching this milestone, this is a daunting prospect. But I'm genuinely looking forward to it. I think my fifties will be a good decade because my head is in the best place it's ever been and I think I'm getting back to my best in terms of creating again. 

There are several reasons for this: I am not working in a disgracefully stressful job; I have no immediate money worries; I am spending lots of quality time with the Missus and we remain ridiculously happy together; I am back into a solid routine of martial arts training and loving learning new skills in no-gi BJJ, wrestling and MMA; and I have several writing projects on the go that I'm really excited about. 

I'm in a good place. Even the looming prospect of a potential return to work later in the year cannot damped my spirits.

The writing is also going really well. I have just finished the first draft of a script for a graphic novel I'm doing with an artist friend, I have a short play idea to finish about a murder, then I have rewrites on two plays to finish before embarking on a new idea. I am daft excited about the latter. It's a real chamber piece with just four characters and I'm already seeing the scenes and the conflicts.

Who knows? I could write something that lands big-style yet. 

A Content Consumer Recommends...


Here are some things I am watching, reading or listening to at the moment that I think are very good. You may agree, disagree or not care. All of those are fine.

Comics 
The Uncanny X-men: The Dave Cockrum, John Byrne and Chris Claremont run of the second team, kicking off with Giant Size X-men No.1, is still excellent stuff third or fourth time round. The storytelling may be a bit crude at times, but it is still a rollicking ride all the way up to the Dark Phoenix saga and Days of Future Past.

Films 
Captain Marvel: The latest offering from the Marvel Comics Universe sees Brie Larson as inter-galactic warrior Carol Danvers taking on alien bad guys. Or are they bad guys? Retro fun aplenty.

The Guilty: Superior small-budget Danish thriller following a police officer working the switchboard during a night shift who becomes embroiled in the kidnapping of a young mother. Directed by Gustav Moller and starring Jakob Cedergren.

Music
Slow Readers Club: Manchester band who are like a more tuneful, less mournful and pop-based version of Editors. The album, Cavalcade, is well worth a listen.  

Tom Petty: The back catalogue is so rich and it has so much to offer that I am still finding gems I hadn't heard after three months of immersion. You and I Will Meet Again still breaks my heart every time. 

TV
Coronation Street: Back on its game following a big set-piece storyline after the collapse of the factory roof and the death of Rana Habeeb. So many things to enjoy, including a touching Muslim funeral, dimwit builder Gary Windass falling foul of loan shark and a guilty Carla Connor going into meltdown.

Fleabag: Series two of the biting, touching, bleak and wonderful comedy written by and starring Phoebe Waller-Bridge. I want another series, but the ending was so beautiful I'm not sure there should be one.

The Office: US sitcom inspired by the Ricky Gervais original, which becomes its own gloriously surreal and quite moving entity over nine series.

Vikings: The latest season sees the sons of Ragnor Lothbrook up to all manner of shenanigans in both the UK and Scandinavia. Elsewhere, Floki endures more trials in his remote and barren new settlement.