Lockdown News: Part XVIII...

It's difficult to list all the things the current Government have fucked up. It's like some dark dystopian satire where you think things have hit rock bottom, then you realise they've found a way to keep digging. While spitting at poor people. 

Here are some lowlights in case you've missed them: 

* Worst death rate in Europe 

* Infected patients shipped into care homes 

* Justice system undermined 

* World-beating track and trace system costing millions, awarded to company with Government links and a massive failure

* Millions spunked on red tape in a Brexit they largely engineered 

* Multi-million-pound PPE contracts awarded to shady companies in bizarre back alley deals with no scrutiny 

* Lack of clear messaging on lockdown rules 

* School returns utterly botched 

* Predicted worst recession in Europe en route 

And these are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head. Their latest catastrophe, however, is A Level results. In a piece of social engineering that would win applause from right-wing eugenicists, the algorithm the Government has used to predict A Level results disadvantages pupils from large, state schools and rewards those at private schools.

For those interested in statistics and fact rather than opinion and conjecture, the grade inflation at private schools increasing A to A* was 4.7%. In state sixth forms and FE colleges, the same statistic was 0.3%. And this is just at the top end of the marking system.

Nearly 40% of students have been marked down one grade if they were predicted to get grades ranging from B-D.

I spent Thursday working at a clearing call centre for a university and the amount of gutted students I talked to who were predicted to easily hit their entry grades but were downgraded on results day was heartbreaking.

The day, however, was not without its beautiful moment. The Education Secretary, Gavin Williamson, was quoted as saying: 'The danger is that pupils will be over-promoted into jobs that are beyond their competence.' From a man in the same Cabinet as Priti Patel, Chris Grayling, Matt Hancock, Liz Truss and the laziest and most incompetent Prime Minister in history, Boris Johnson.

Sadly, he didn't actually say this. But Priti Patel did demand that France take back refuges landing in Kent. If we were still in the EU, they'd have to. But guess what? We're not. She probably didn't think it through...

Still we have asylum seekers to throw back in the English Channel and distract us while the Government moves onto he next fuck-up. 

On the plus side, this A Level shit show means Chris Grayling is no longer the most incompetent member of his party. So he's probably delighted.

New Cummings Dictionary: Part I...

An attempt to pin down words with their new meanings as suggested by current Government behaviours:

Expert: A cut-throat and brigand who unscrupulously uses the cloak of education and science-tested knowledge to deceive those who present opinion and anecdote as fact.

Robust: An utter shambles of heart-breaking proportions, which will require an instant u-turn to reverse imminent disaster.

World beating: a performance that is abjectly appalling when measured by any credible metric, which often leads to tragic consequences.

Lockdown News: Part XVII....

I didn't think the day could get much weirder with Chris Gayling failing at another job, then reading about a church of fundamentalist nutcases offering conversion therapy in Shalford Village Hall. 

Then I spotted a neighbour openly watching porn on his TV. A brave move considering he has at least a 60 incher...

Lockdown News: Part XVI...

I wrote the below piece when the real story behind the Government's 'protective ring' around care homes was just being exposed in early July. But I forgot to post it.

I don’t expect any government or institution to get everything right in a pandemic. Not straight away.

But the UK Government have consistently ignored the science when it doesn’t suit the herd immunity policy they seem set on delivering. They also ignored the experience of other countries, which we had the benefit of and we could have acted upon given the timeframe of the disease spread in the early stages. But this failure has been well documented.

The worst thing now, however, is that they haven’t learnt.

The UK is slowly opening up for business with an 'R' rate still hovering close to 1 and one localised infection spike already forcing part of Leicester back into lockdown. Several SAGE committee members warned against opening up too soon. I genuinely hope we avoid a second wave, but I fear it’s likely. Or this re-opening of the UK will just ensure the first wave keeps on going, which is a novel response to disease management. But it seems to be what they’ve opted for.

The over-arching media policy during this pandemic seems to be Lie, Obfuscate, Confuse the Narrative, Double Down on the Lie, Obfuscate, Repeat. It’s straight out of the Steve Bannon and Roger Stone playbook.

An example of this is the ‘protective ring’ they claimed to throw around care homes. It was non-existent. But they pretended there was one. The result was that 25,000 untested people who couldn't be treated by an under-resourced NHS were discharged into care home, meaning the infected went on to infect other residents. Even worse, the Government are now trying to shift the blame onto under-resourced and under-paid care home staff. 

As The Guardian reported, this prompted an explosion from Mark Adams, the chief executive of leading social care charity Community Integrated Care: 'We’re almost entering an… alternative reality where the Government set the rules, we follow them and they don’t like the results and they then deny setting the rules and blame the people that were trying to do their best.'

If the Government have thrown a protective ring around care homes with the same speed that they threw one around Durham sight-tester Dominic Cummings and Clearly Corrupt Minister of Backhanders Robert Jenrick, then we may well have fewer grieving families. 

But they didn’t. They can own that.

This blaming of other people is shameful. It’s the despicable tactic of a failing coward of a Prime Minister and his minions who hope they can make people look the other way by scapegoating somebody else. But the Government have done it elsewhere. At various times, they've also tried to blame NHS staff for over-using PPE, the NHS, the WHO, teachers, trade unions, scientific advice, young people and Public Health England. 

It's shameful. But it's also part of an ongoing list of horrors. I'm old enough to remember when we were promised a world-beating test, track and trace app, I'm old enough to remember when the Government decided to stop publishing figures on the number of people tested because it was clearly an embarrassment, I'm old enough to remember when a Government Minister thought taking the knee was from Game of Thrones.

Naturally, it's the most vulnerable people who are taking the biggest hit. The old, the poor and members of the BAME community are among those hardest hit by this disease. But after 11 years of austerity, it's hardy surprising because these are among the most vulnerable people in society and all Covid-19 has really done is to expose those inequalities that austerity has wreaked,. 

As I said earlier, i don't expect any Government to have got everything right when handling a pandemic of this scale. But I expect some honesty, some humility and some consideration.

And this lot have none. 

Beer Review: Filthy Animal...

This imperial stout is an 8.6 per-cent-er. The chili kick gives it a pleasant warm end note. I may well buy this again as a cheery treat on a cold day.

 

Expert summary: It's like slightly drunk lover giving you an unsophisticated kiss with the promise of more to come when you are a bit down and also a bit pissed. It's warm and welcoming.

Lockdown News: Part XV...

I just woke up and remembered that thought vacuum Liz Truss is an actual Government Minister. 

I am going back to bed until this bullshit is over.