How to Be 50: Part III...

The Missus took me away to Whitby for the weekend for my 50th birthday. Here are some of the highlights with me in sort of travel writer journalist mode…

199 Steps & Church of St Mary

The 199 steps leading from Church Street up to the Church of St Mary offer breath-taking views of Whitby town and the harbor. The fact they also lead up to the church featured in Dracula make it a must-see attraction for lovers of the Bram Stoker novel. Fans can sit on the benches and look out to sea in the same way that Lucy Westerna does in the book when she chats to the old fishermen just before the Lord-of-the-Undead-carrying ship, Demeter, arrives.

The church itself is quite sweet and well worth a look inside, but the real attraction is the spooky cemetery with its graves of pirates and mariners, and the amazing scenes looking out from the East Cliff into the North Sea.

Whitby Abbey 

The Whitby Abbey complex has just had a reboot and it’s a truly inspiring place to while away two or three hours. 

The entrance, visitor centre and gift shop are all housed in a 17th century mansion. The visitor centre tells the story of the Abbey, which was founded in the seventh century and hosted the Synod of Whitby in 664AD. It then continues its tale through its reinvention as a Benedictine abbey founded after the Norman Conquest to its dissolution under Henry VIII and beyond. 

There’s also a first edition of the novel, Dracula, by Bram Stoker, in a display case at the end of the exhibition. 

But it’s the ruins of the abbey itself that are the real jaw-dropper. Perched on the edge of the East Cliff at Whitby, the imposing ruins are large in scale and still possess genuine beauty and grace. There’s also part of the ceiling still standing at one end, too. 

It’s an amazing place set in a stunning location. It’s utterly beautiful. And it’s less than £10 to get into if you’re an adult.

Whitby Brewery 

The Whitby Brewery does two things really well. 

First off, it brews really excellent beer. My favourite offering was the Whitby Jet Porter, which is smooth and rich with licorice and coffee flavours. The Saltwick Nab Ale is also a really lovely drink, with vanilla and malty tones, and the Whaler is eminently drinkable bitter with a sweet and citrus taste. 

Secondly, the brewery has a shop and a bar on site, so visitors can buy beer from the shop or the pump and chill out in either the indoors bar room or the exterior beer garden. As an added bonus, there are also regular folk music and other gigs on in the bar room. 

It’s an excellent place and it’s all housed a converted barn next door to Whitby Abbey. It’s well worth a visit. And the beer is excellent. And I am repeating this information because it is that good!

Whitby Museum 

We did a Whitby Ghost Walk with local tour guide Dr Crank and he told us several tales about the Hand of Glory, an enchanted tool for burglars made from the severed hand of a hanged man, a magic potion and a lit candle. He also explained how Whitby Museum in Pannett Park had one of the few remaining examples of this in its collection and he encouraged us to pay the place a visit. 

We’re glad we did because it’s a hidden gem among the many treasures that Whitby has to offer. The ground floor houses a great collection of fossils from the Jurassic and Cretaceous periods, plus sections on birds and mammals, textiles, Whitby jet, boat building and much more. The section on the town’s maritime history, James Cook and William Scoresby is fascinating. The Hand of Glory, meanwhile, remains a spooky sight. 

Admission for adults is £5 and that lasts for one calendar year. It’s amazingly good value. My advice: go and enjoy.

Whitby Walks

My Missus took me to Whitby for the Goth Weekend in April and we decided we wanted to do a ghost walk. Online research suggested Dr Crank provided the best of the local tours, so we rocked up at the Whalebone Arch outside the Royal Hotel at half seven… and it was excellent. 

Dr Crank met us, and the rest of the group, and he kept us entertained and informed for about an hour and a quarter. He took us down main roads, side streets and alleyways, and he regaled us with spooky tales about the genesis of Dracula, a horrifying hound, a creepy churchyard coach, bedeviled boozers and several spectres. He also included lots of quirky information about the history of Whitby, including a couple of macabre yarns about the Hand of Glory, an example of which resides at the local museum. 

Dr Crank was an entertaining, knowledgeable and fascinating guide. I loved the additional twist of why he decided to become a full-time tour guide. Sadly, you’ll have to do the tour to find that out. 

Even better, the tour cost £5. Ridiculously cheap for something this good! 

How to Be 50: Part II...

I was a late starter, but I've now been a martial arts student for the past 16 years. 

I initially started training in the Korean martial art of Hapkido and, alongside this, I boxed for a few years. I've trained in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for about seven years, too, alongside my continuing hapkido studies. This year, I also started training in no-gi Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, wrestling and a bit of MMA. 

To nutshell these experiences and the people I've trained under and with: they've all been nothing short of wonderful.

In reality, I won't ever be the fighter I may have once hoped to be. But I'm doing OK and, alongside developing massively improved fitness and stamina and learning some self-defence skills, training has so many other benefits. 

I met my best friend while doing hapkido and I've made so many other close pals that it seems crazy to think this is something that I once never did. It also majorly helped me deal with stress when the corporate carnage of work got too crazy in my last job. 

One of the greatest benefits of martial arts training, though, is that it keeps you humble and it keeps your perspective on things real. I've now trained with so many good people that I'd never assume I know how to do techniques. I often have a rough idea of how to do a thing and through constant training you slowly refine this thing. Then once you think you have it, a whole new area of improvement and correction opens up. 

And the cycle of improvement goes on. 

This is excellent for instilling humility and killing arrogance and training martial arts keeps finding ways to re-inform and repeat this lesson in humility. A case in point was this week. 

I'm generally one of the older people at the schools where I train and I do get off on this a little bit. I'm often exhausted and a bit broken by the end of a two or three-hour session, but I take some pride in the fact I'm still hanging with people some 25 or 15 years younger than me. 

Then a new guy joined the gym and he's 69. Not only is he 69, but he's got skills and he puts in the graft. That dude is my new hero. I will never complain about old age again. It's just not a valid excuse any more.

How to Be 50: Part I...

In three days, I turn 50. To many approaching this milestone, this is a daunting prospect. But I'm genuinely looking forward to it. I think my fifties will be a good decade because my head is in the best place it's ever been and I think I'm getting back to my best in terms of creating again. 

There are several reasons for this: I am not working in a disgracefully stressful job; I have no immediate money worries; I am spending lots of quality time with the Missus and we remain ridiculously happy together; I am back into a solid routine of martial arts training and loving learning new skills in no-gi BJJ, wrestling and MMA; and I have several writing projects on the go that I'm really excited about. 

I'm in a good place. Even the looming prospect of a potential return to work later in the year cannot damped my spirits.

The writing is also going really well. I have just finished the first draft of a script for a graphic novel I'm doing with an artist friend, I have a short play idea to finish about a murder, then I have rewrites on two plays to finish before embarking on a new idea. I am daft excited about the latter. It's a real chamber piece with just four characters and I'm already seeing the scenes and the conflicts.

Who knows? I could write something that lands big-style yet. 

A Content Consumer Recommends...

Here are some things I am watching, reading or listening to at the moment that I think are very good. You may agree, disagree or not care. All of those are fine.

Comics 
The Uncanny X-men: The Dave Cockrum, John Byrne and Chris Claremont run of the second team, kicking off with Giant Size X-men No.1, is still excellent stuff third or fourth time round. The storytelling may be a bit crude at times, but it is still a rollicking ride all the way up to the Dark Phoenix saga and Days of Future Past.

Films 
Captain Marvel: The latest offering from the Marvel Comics Universe sees Brie Larson as inter-galactic warrior Carol Danvers taking on alien bad guys. Or are they bad guys? Retro fun aplenty.

The Guilty: Superior small-budget Danish thriller following a police officer working the switchboard during a night shift who becomes embroiled in the kidnapping of a young mother. Directed by Gustav Moller and starring Jakob Cedergren.

Music
Slow Readers Club: Manchester band who are like a more tuneful, less mournful and pop-based version of Editors. The album, Cavalcade, is well worth a listen.  

Tom Petty: The back catalogue is so rich and it has so much to offer that I am still finding gems I hadn't heard after three months of immersion. You and I Will Meet Again still breaks my heart every time. 

TV
Coronation Street: Back on its game following a big set-piece storyline after the collapse of the factory roof and the death of Rana Habeeb. So many things to enjoy, including a touching Muslim funeral, dimwit builder Gary Windass falling foul of loan shark and a guilty Carla Connor going into meltdown.

Fleabag: Series two of the biting, touching, bleak and wonderful comedy written by and starring Phoebe Waller-Bridge. I want another series, but the ending was so beautiful I'm not sure there should be one.

The Office: US sitcom inspired by the Ricky Gervais original, which becomes its own gloriously surreal and quite moving entity over nine series.

Vikings: The latest season sees the sons of Ragnor Lothbrook up to all manner of shenanigans in both the UK and Scandinavia. Elsewhere, Floki endures more trials in his remote and barren new settlement.

Something New! Sort of...

One of the great joys of both redundancy and working from home is the fact I have a martial arts school a five-minute walk away. This means I am back into a decent routine of training both BJJ and No Gi BJJ. I am also averaging a weekly hapkido class in London, so I'm training different things with different people and it's fab. 

I did a 90-minute BJJ class last night and I decided I'd stick around to do an MMA class, too. Confession time: I am a huge UFC fan and I am currently watching them in chronological order. But I've never taken the step into training MMA, even though I have trained in several of the separate skills sets (striking, grappling, ground-fighting) that make up MMA. 

But last night, my curiosity got the better of me and I thought I'd risk turning my 90-minute training session into a 180-minute one. And it was pretty god fun. 

We mainly worked on movement drills and hand strikes. A lot of it was quite similar to many of the boxing drills I was taught while boxing several years ago, but the defence is slightly different as as kicks and knees also have to be avoided.

My head movement at slipping and rolling was a bit off the pace and my tight shoulder blocking to deflect hand strikes was a bit wayward. But my punching and combinations remain decent and I learnt a very good new movement drill involving a swinging pad. 

I may do some more of this. My crap knees and advancing age, however, may dictate that this is only an occasional pleasure...

Hapkido Success! Sort of...

It's been a while since I graded at hapkido. In fact, it's been about two and half years. There are several factors involved in this: work was fuck awful, I picked up injuries every time I was preparing to grade, and I fell out of love with hapkido for a bit and I wanted to do more BJJ.

But with work no longer an issue (hurray!) and with my ongoing injuries currently sort of manageable, I graded a few weeks ago and passed. So my black belt now has a brown stripe on it. Make your own gags.

I thought my sparring at the grading was pretty decent, but the rushing techniques I was being tested on felt a bit ropey. Some of this was my own stupid fault. I was knackered by the time I came to demonstrate because I'd been volunteering to be an opponent at every opportunity when I should have been conserving my strength. 

But some of it was also the fact that I'm still not really feeling these techniques yet. I can do them to an OK level and I have a decent grasp of the mechanics, but they don't feel ingrained in the same way that other skills sets did at that stage.

But that happens at hapkido. There are certain technique sets on the hapkido syllabus that I really like, such as the judo-style throws, the punch blocks, the kick blocks, the choking defences, and a lot of the standing joint and wrist locks. But it's fair to say that rushing skills are not my favourites. In fact, they may well be my least favourite. 

On the plus side, I have time to ingrain these. I don't think I'll be grading again until the back end of the year as I have 20 knife defence skills to learn for my red stripe. 

Then, after that, it's grading for my second dan. 

It will be pretty cool to get my second dan. When I started hapkido in 2003, a black belt seemed like a far-off and very unlikely thing. But doing hapkido has seen me diversify and box for two years, train and compete at BJJ, and now do no-gi BJJ. 

So if I never make second dan and if it it all stops tomorrow, I've had a blast doing hapkido and all the other martial arts I've sampled or trained in on the back of it. 

I obviously hope it doesn't stop. I want to be training up to my 60s. This, obviously, is the new goal. I promised myself I'd be training into my 50s and in seven weeks I'll have achieved that. It's a small milestone for a comics-loving geek who never really did sport.

The Write Stuff...

I have done the maths with my redundancy money and I know how long I have before I have to return to work. To be honest, I have always known this, but I'm now looking at it slightly more seriously.

Fortunately, this is still a long way off, which means I still have plenty of time to plan, strategise and work on my writing. But I know it is highly unlikely that the writing will pay enough or land anywhere soon enough to make it a viable wage earner. If ever.

This is both a depressing thought but also an inspiring one. So I can either sit on my arse and be a bit depressed about it all, or I can use it as a rallying call and kick into gear and just work harder to give myself a better chance of success. 

I am choosing the latter course of action. Because I hate sounding like a whining fucker. Whining in an East Yorkshire accent always sounds terrible.

A Content Consumer Recommends...

Here are some things I am watching, reading or listening to at the moment that I think are very good. You may agree, disagree or not care. All of those are fine.

Comics
Jessica Jones: Alias by Brian Michael Bendis: Superior storytelling and fantastic art. Gritty, urban and funny. 

A Walk Through Hell by Garth Ennis: Slow-burn horror story about two special agents who end up in a terrifying and increasingly bizarre situation.

Films
The Favourite: Rachel Weiss, Olivia Colman and Emma Stone star in this offbeat historical drama. Cracking script and great performances all round.

Stan and Ollie: Heart-warming story about the greatest double act of all time fighting against the dying of their comedy light and doing a tour of the UK.

Music

Kate Bush Remastered Volume I: Wonderful remastered studio albums from one of the most important UK musical artists of the 20th century. I want Volume II. Now please.

Kelly Moran: Pared-down electronica minimalism with influences from all sorts of wonderful places.

Podcasts

The Joe Rogan Experience: Comedian, UFC commentator and BJJ officianado with more ace guests and sometimes potty-mouthed chat. The Mike Tyson interview is beautiful.

The Disrupters: A journalist and an entrepreneur chronicle the ups and downs of several business success stories. Much better and much more entertaining than it sounds.

Dear Joan and Jericha: Julia Davis and Vicki Pepperdine play often vicious, clueless and self-obsessed agony aunts. Dark and very funny.

TV

Dirty Money: Compelling Netflix documentary series exposing the big bad folk behind stunning corporate crimes, scams and cover-ups. 

Coronation Street: The biggest TV show in the UK is threatening to get back to its very best with missing money and a pregnant teen. Needs a killer, though!

Emmerdale: Still entertaining and moving in equal measures. Bob's descent into homelessness (pictured above) is a fantastic story flying under the mainstream soap radar.

New Start...

Tonight, I start a new grappling journey. Actually, it's the continuation of an old grappling journey, but it is at a new home in Guildford. 

So here goes my start at no-gi grappling. I even have a new rash guard...

Austerity Statistics No.2…

A recent United Nations investigation concluded that 14million British people are living in poverty. A junior minister was on hand to answer the 13 other MPs who attended the debate based on this shocking report. 

So 14million people living in poverty and a total of 14 MPs present to discuss it.

Austerity Quotes No.1...

'Poverty exists not because we cannot feed the poor, but because we cannot satisfy the rich...'

Anonymous

Austerity Statistics No.1…

In the last fast five years, the 1000 richest people in Britain have increased their wealth by £274billion.

New Year, New Start...

Christmas and New Year are done and I'm on track for sorting my shit out for 2019. The last year saw seven months of torment and stress at work, followed by redundancy, followed by five months of de-stressing and transitioning to a new part of my life. 

Whatever that new life eventually is - and there are several versions of it depending on what me and the Missus decide to do - my battleplan for 2019 is to spend as much of the year as I can writing and not seeking paid employment. The great fear with this is that I will basically chill out and spend too much time procrastinating and not enough time delivering work.

So I have to train myself to be better than my worst excesses. But I have pedigree in that area.

Because I've worked in and delivered success in a highly stressful job and work environment for the past five or six years, I know I have the work ethic and the discipline to succeed. And because I continue to train martial arts at the age of 49, I have additional work ethic, discipline and lots of resilience.

Anyway, I made the above notes to self, which are now pinned next to my computer screen. I will report back. 

First job for January: finish the script for the graphic novel. Go!

Goodbye LFF...

There are many brilliant things about redundancy for a 49-year-old journalist who has worked at the same company for 22 years. The chance to reboot your career, the chance to do something extraordinary with the people you love, the chance to take stock, the chance to make new plans, the chance to indulge some whims...

The one bad thing about redundancy is that it removes you geographically from a place you were connected to. I'm fine with most of this, but one example of this down side is the fact I can longer train BJJ at the excellent London Fight Factory (LFF) in Old Street. I've trained BJJ here for five years and it's been one of the best things I've ever done.

Every single one of the 300+ classes I've done there has been challenging, exhausting and difficult in some way. But it's also seen me train with some of the best people I've ever trained with and learn under some of the best teachers I've ever learnt under. 

Even though I felt like crying through a combination of exhaustion and frustration at the end of some classes, it's been an utter joy. Unless you've been through the grappling grind, you probably can't fully appreciate it. 

I'm genuinely sad to say goodbye to everyone at LFF as there is such a family ethos there. But I'm pretty sure I'll be back working in London at some point and, when that happens, I'll be back on the mats at Old Street. 

Until then I'll be training closer to home. But this is kind of exciting as well...

Quote of the Day...

'The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.'
Lily Tomlin

The 100 Press-ups Challenge: Part I...

I am currently on a sabbatical from work. That is a posh way of saying I'm on an extended holiday and I don't immediately want another job. Unless it's on Emmerdale or Corrie. Obviously. 

Consequently, I am spending some time doing the sort of stuff I couldn't do when I was working insane hours in corporate-apocalypse-land. And I also up-skilling. So, apart from rewriting plays, writing a comic and getting back in shape, I am learning how to vlog. The fruits of some of this are above. 

And, yes, I appreciate that I have a face for radio. But I will crack 100 press-ups before the end of the year. Even though that may not make any prettier.

BJJ Grading...

I attended the annual grading of the BJJ school where I've trained for the past five years at the weekend. There was never any chance of me changing my belt, so I was mainly going to catch up with a few people and support my fellow training partners after a while away from the mats because of injury. 

It was a good day, which started with the kids getting their new belts and stripes. This remains one of the cutest things I see all year. Then it was the turn of the adults and a few of my regular training partners got promoted. This was good for several reasons. 

Firstly, it was a stark reminder that if you want to progress then you have to put the work in. You have to take responsibility for your own progress and everyone who got a new belt had grafted. They'd also been consistent in their attendance. Another key requirement. These are factors I'm currently relearning in all my martial arts training post-injury and post-work-nightmare. Routine, consistency and determination equals success. Eventually. Even for somebody who's as unlikely a martial artist as me.

Secondly, it was good to see who progressed because it allowed me to gauge my own progress. The belts are very deep at BJJ. Most students will hold their belts for a minimum of two, three or sometimes many more years. Some people who got the belt above me are light years ahead. But I feel a few people who were promoted aren't so far ahead that they are totally out of sight and, given enough time and effort, I can near the standard they're at. It's daunting but it's inspiring. I can succeed. It will just take me matching the time and effort they've put in

Finally, it's just good to support your mat family. I was utterly hopeless when I started BJJ. For a very long time. Harsher critics may even say I'm still not that good. And, even though my teachers are excellent, one of the major factors in me becoming less useless has been the support and advice of my fellow students. So it's good to cheer and celebrate their successes. 

Sadly, with me no longer working in London, I may have to find a new BJJ club to train at next year because the additional expense of travelling into town with no income will make it prohibitively expensive. The priority next year has to be making the writing work and any spare financial resource has to be directed at that goal. If that class exit does happen, though, the lessons learnt at London Fight Factory and emphasised by days like the grading will continue to educate my training. Wherever that may be. 

But at least I've promised myself that my BJJ training will continue. I've sort of got the bug now.

Photo courtesy of Dun Jiujitsu PhotoZ.

Tech Virgin... Tries Vlogging! Part II...

So here it is. Warts and all. And there are quite a lot of production, presentation and knowledge warts on display. 

What can I say? I'm not very good at it and I panic in front of a camera. But it was my first attempt. And this opening try lasted miles longer than my first attempt at sex...

Tech Virgin... Tries Vlogging! Part I...

I have just completed a Tech Virgin column on vlogging. So to accompany the written piece, I attempted to create a vlog and edit it.

It's pretty basic and it's miles too long, but I may well do a few more to get my skills up to scratch. I find the filming and appearing in front of a camera bit of it quite odd. Sadly, I have a face for radio and a voice only a hard-of-hearing mother could love. But I like the editing and putting the thing together process. 

Also, when I eventually do post it, please don't be scared or intimidated by the technical terms such as 'the pressy go button'.

Back on the Mats

It's been a largely frustrating past three months on the martial arts training front. I've kept in touch with some form of light hapkido training and I've also done some boxing and some sparring drills, but BJJ has been a non-starter. A dodgy fall at hapkido saw a neck and shoulder injury, then another incident saw me tear some intercostal muscles. 

This meant I also missed a hapkido grading I was aiming to attend, which would have put me a step closer to my second dan grading, and it also meant a chance to compete at BJJ was not happening. 

This week, however, I have finally completed the triumvirate of hapkido, boxing and BJJ, and my body doesn't seem to be in too much agony, This is hopeful as it suggests I'll be back in full training mode within a few weeks as long as I don't do anything too stupid or push my body to quickly. 

At BJJ, I also did some no-gi with a very helpful and lightning fast no-gi competitor. If I end up not working in London next year, I'll be moving my BJJ training to a gym nearer home. I am also planning on doing no-gi instead of gi for a while, so it was good to have a chance to do some of it.

Goodbye Buffy...

Fluffy Buffy came into our lives in April 2001. We got her and her mum, Large Marge, from a cat rescue home in London and they rapidly became part of the family. 

Marge, sadly, died six years later. Buffy, however, thrived and has been with us ever since. Until a few days ago. 

There had been lots of deliveries and pick-ups from the house, so we didn't see much of her. But that wasn't unusual. She had morphed from a killer and a hunter into a gentle and sensitive cat. In the last five years, she'd often spend large amounts of time curled up in the house in the quietest place she could find. This usually meant sleeping on or under our bed. She'd also sleep with us during the night. It was cute. How we adored that cat. 

We'd seen less of her over the last week or so, but we put that down to her hiding from the various deliveries. We had still seen her, though, and she was eating. Then a few days ago, her health basically dropped off a cliff. She curled up in my office for a day or so and she wouldn't interact. The next day we saw her outside and her back legs buckled and we took her to the vets. 

The upshot was that she couldn't be saved, despite the best efforts of the vet and her team. So we put her to sleep. I've been through the process of Kitty Dignitas with two old and ill cats and one seriously injured cat. And it remains awful.

I will miss her terribly. Rest in peace, Buffy. You were one much-loved cat.

On Writing and Martial Arts...

The two rehearsed readings of The Selkie are done and dusted and I am now in rewrite mode for two weeks. Then I will put the script away for a few months as I embark on a new project and come back to it in the new year.

Writing as a discipline is like any other discipline and I think the links between writing and martial arts training are very strong.

The most important thing at both is that you have to put the hours in and actually do it. 

Work pressures pre-redundancy prevented me from writing for large parts of the year. When redundancy happened, though, my writing discipline kicked in and I got through the first draft of the play very quickly. I did lots then and I will continue to write lots going forward. I may not get this time again and I have to ensure it is not frittered away.

Ironically, when redundancy happened, I had extra time to train, too. This was exciting. Then a bad fall at hapkido and torn intercostal muscles further down the road meant I couldn't train much hapkido or boxing and BJJ was a non-starter. Thankfully, my body seems to be back up and running, so I'll be returning to the BJJ and hapkido mats proper next week. I am delighted about this as I need to get back to training. I need do it properly again.

But 'properly' has different meanings for different people. For me, it means training three to four times a week at most. To be honest, my body can't take much more than that. But martial arts has always been a recreational thing for me and, even though I have competed a bit, it's always been about the training, overcoming problems and celebrating the slight improvements. 

It's a similar thing with writing. The slight improvements and overcoming problems are the things that make you better and the reason you put the work in. I've been a professional journalist for 29 years and a sometimes decent playwright for some of that time. I can do character and dialogue. But understanding things like structure, balance, momentum and plot are areas where I think I have got better and have made continual improvements. Structure, balance and momentum are also cornerstone tenets of many martial arts. 

The Selkie represents an advance for my writing because I've taken lots of previous lessons onboard and, while it is by no means an unflawed piece of work, I can see the bits where it flies. But I can also see the holes and it's sorting those out that is the next step. 

And that remains the same with my hapkido and, when I get back to it, my BJJ. I know where I'm OK at both of these things. But I know where the massive holes are and my martial arts journey and my writing journey will be about trying to fill some of them in. 

I don't think that makes me sound like too much of a twat. But it may do.

Redundancy: Part III...

With draft one of The Selkie now in a decent place and the two rehearsed readings in the bag, I am about to turn my attention to my second writing project of a planned three before the end of the year.

This is a graphic novel based on a friend's idea involving Count Dracula. I can't give too many details away at the moment, but he's doing the art and I'm co-writing the script with him.

We've already storylined most of the first book, which we are hoping will be an ongoing series. And get picked up by Netflix. And make us loads of money. With critical success. And a thriving merchandising arm.

We're also getting to grips with how to format and write a graphic novel script. This is an entirely new skill set for both of us. But as we're both massive comics fans, we should be able to turn our comic consumer heads into comic creator heads.

It's going to be hard work but it will also be a lot of fun. I am bigly looking forward to this...

Redundancy: Part II...

When I realised that redundancy was not a vague possibility but a distinct probability, which not surprisingly was about the same time the people in charge of the magazine where I worked changed its frequency, I took some steps to put a few things in motion. And the first of these was to organise a play reading for the end of the year. 

There were two ideas behind this. 

The first was that it would get me writing my own work again. I had written nothing new for about 18 months and this was largely due to the demands of the day job. But I knew I had to create time to get back into the swing of things, so I gave myself the very real deadline of writing a new play for an advertised rehearsed reading with paying punters.

The second idea was that if I was serious about eventually securing work writing for the TV soaps I loved, then I had to have a new script that could act as a calling card. So my new play, The Selkie, is a bit domestic in setting and quite simple in plot. But I am hoping it also showcases my love of strong dialogue and an ability to write sympathetic characters. 

The first rehearsal is now in three days time and I have just completed the first draft of the script. Then I have another rehearsal a week later. Three days after that, the play gets the first of its two public outings before a paying audience.

I am both excited by this prospect and slightly terrified. I have time to tidy the script up before the opening rehearsal, then I have an additional week to take in any major edits the first rehearsal throws up.

It's great to finish the first draft of something new again. But I'm also aware the real work is about to begin...

On the plus side, I have no job to distract my attention and sap my energy.

Redundancy: Part I...

So. I am now unemployed after being made redundant about seven weeks ago. I am both heartbroken and delighted by this sudden turn of events. 

I am heartbroken because the magazine I have worked on, which me and my team had given about another 18 months of shelf life to by increasing its sales last year, has been closed. We were successful as a fortnightly title and in rude health after the sales increases. Then a decision was made above our heads to change its frequency to a weekly one... and sales plummeted, leading to its eventual closure. 

Result: I was offered redundancy and I took it. 

I'll miss the people because I've worked at the company for 22 years and I have a couple of very close friends there. I'll still see them, though. I'll miss the salary, too, because there's no guarantee that I'll ever earn that amount again. 

But the company has become so badly managed that reckless decisions like the one taken on the magazine I edited were allowed to be made with no scrutiny or accountability. Staff morale has also fallen so low that it's now a truly toxic environment to work in. 

To add insult to injury, there are not enough staff and the ones that are left are doing far too much work. A lot of the good ones simply want to go. I hope they get their wish. Staying there is damaging them and you can see how the increased workload is affecting people.

I am delighted to be out of that. I escaped with redundancy and that gives me and the Missus options. Not having my working week structured by those hours, routines and pressures is going to take some getting used to. But it's such a massive relief. Working there had made me ill. If I'd have stayed, it would have made me much worse. 

But onwards and upwards and time to plan a new life. 

Step one is to put some new short-term structures in place so I can write my own stuff until the end of the year. Consequently, I now have writing blocks planned in on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I also train on these days, too, so I should be able to do BJJ on Monday and Friday, and double bank hapkido on Wednesday. Then Tuesday is date day with the Missus and Thursday is flexible. And weekends are party time. 

For step two, we've made some longer-term plans, The Missus wants to pot and do some sort of ceramics placement, and I want to eventually write for one of the big soaps. So we are sussing out how to make these things happen. We're planning a fuck-off adventure at some point next year, too. 

If a new job falls into my lap, I may take it. But I am in no rush. I certainly won't go back into an environment like the one I have just left, though. Redundancy has given me time and options, and I need to make sure I take the chance to fully explore them.

At 49, I have the time and money to reboot everything. And I intend to have a bloody good go at doing exactly that. And, if I fail, I'm a really good chief sub and writer. I can pull a cracking pint as well...

The England Football Team: Some Thoughts...

The England Football Team 2018: 

a group of individuals who work together as a team in pursuit of a common goal; 
a team who have worked together under clear management guidelines for a purpose they all believe in; 
a group of individuals who unite and sacrifice their own instincts to be better than the sum of their parts; 
a group of individuals who bring pride to a nation who had pretty much given up hope on making any impact on the international stage.

The Tory Government 2018: 

a self-serving group of individuals who refuse to work together as a team in pursuit of a common goal; 

a self-serving group of individuals with no clear management or united purpose; 

a self-serving group of individuals who refuse to unite to be better than the sum of their parts; 

a self-serving group of individuals who bring more despair to a nation who had pretty much given up hope on making any impact on the international stage. 

Key lesson: Come on, England! Fuck off Tories!

The Selkie...

Things have been dreadful at work. So bad in fact that I had to take a few weeks off with stress. I'd basically been running on little more than fumes for a couple of months and it was taking its toll. The speed with which the doctor signed me was a joy to behold after I'd listed the reasons for feeling exhausted and stressed. All of it was work-related and getting out of that corporate apocalypse for a couple of weeks was desperately needed.

And I did bugger all. OK. I didn't exactly do bugger all: I spent time with the Missus, I returned to hapkido training, I arranged a reading of a new play, which I started work on, and I planned a comic, which I started writing. I also returned to BJJ training.

It was all stuff I should have been able to do alongside work, but I simply couldn't do because the job had become all-demanding. I am furious with the place I work for taking so little care of me and for demonstrating what I can only call a virtually criminal lack of duty of care.

But I am also a little bit annoyed with myself. I should have stopped working those hours a long time ago and thrown the ridiculous and ever-increasing demands of the job back at them. But I didn't. My sense of professionalism was exploited. I won't make the same error again, though. I feel like I am through it now.

Having a new play to write, which is currently titled The Selkie, is always energising because it means I have an idea I am excited about and I have a bit of fire back. It's the same with the comic idea. I've planned to write a comic for about three decades but I never got round to it. But seeing the Boy write and publish his comic, then get it stocked in comic shops and take it around comic cons has really kicked my arse into gear on this. A boozy night out with a pal of the Missus and her fella also suddenly made this scheme a reality.

It feels like there is some light at the end of particularly tiring and not-very-creative-tunnel. I feel like I have finally kicked in again. If I get stressed at work again, I'll now just see the doctor again and get signed off for a month or two. Fuck 'em. They don't deserve to have people as good as me working there.

This realisation and change of focus is good. Because, frankly, I've been a right miserable cunt.