Sunday, January 28, 2018

Getting Busy: Part I...



I needed a kick up the arse to start work on a new play and it’s finally arrived in the form of seeing family members doing creative things. 

These wonderful people are: My boy, who has just published his first comic, Tails of Mystery (see above). 


My missus, who is throwing amazing pieces of ceramics (see above). 


My cousin and his pals in Goole, who have just released, Murham Avenue, a cool-as-fuck new album. (see above). 

Thanks to all. You may not know it or even care, but you guys getting busy is inspiring me to get busy again.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Holiday in Krabi: Part VIII...


As a keen and even sometimes credible martial arts student, I decided to take some private lessons in Muay Thai while in Krabi.

I didn't know a huge amount about Muay Thai, other than it is sometimes called 'the science of eight limbs' because it's a striking art that utilises kicks, knees, punches and elbows. I've also caught bits of classes at London Fight Factory, and I've seen enough UFC fighters who are trained in Muay Thai to realise how brutally effective it is as a fighting system. Watch Anderson Silva's plumb clinch demolition of Rich Franklin, or Jose Aldo low leg kicking opponents to the point where they can no longer stand if you want to see some of it in action.

As a long-term hapkido student who's also boxed and does BJJ, I think it's interesting to sample something new every once in a while as it helps keep your views on anything you train in more balanced. And you can always learn something new from something else if you're open to it.

So here are my initial thoughts after three private lessons. I fully appreciate, however, this does not make me any kind of authority...

1 Stance The foot positioning I was shown is basically a front stance that alters back and lead legs for switch kicks, but the position of the arms is elevated. Instead of being tightly tucked to cover the floating ribs, they are held slightly higher. My teacher explained this means there is less wind-up on cross elbow strikes as the elbow is nearer the target. It also aids one element of defensive posture (see later).

2 Foot Movement The advancing and retreating sliding foot movement is pretty much the same as in hapkido and boxing. Because there are a lot of low leg kicks in Muay Thai, though, I am guessing it does not pay to have a stance that is too spread out or one that prevents a rapid retraction of the lead leg.

3 Defensive Posture One of the defensive postures for blocking against roundhouse kicks is slightly different from hapkido. This involves bringing the leg under attack up off the floor to connect to the elbow on the same side to form a barrier. When blocking, the lead leg and hand are more directly facing the opponent and the rear leg and hand are more angled out. I like this. Blocking kicks with single hand and arm blocks does work, but this creation of a unit seems to offer a bigger shield spread over a bigger area. I am incorporating this into my sparring.

4 Elbows The cross elbow strikes seem to be thrown with less wind-up and rely on hip rotation to deliver power. They are also thrown on either side without a stance adjustment. The uppercut elbows like an uppercut punch seem to rely on a step in that slightly lowers the stance, then a vertical extension up through the feet as the elbow moves from south to north. I like this slight drive upwards to create a more dynamic strike. It also reminded me of how much my own uppercut punches need work. We use cross and uppercut elbows in hapkido, but the set-up is slightly different. This now gives me an option to throw them a different and faster way.

5 Knees The knees in Muay Thai are brutal. We use upward knee strikes in hapkido, but I particularly like the forward knee strike in Muay Thai. This is delivered a bit like a harpoon by thrusting the back knee forward and leaning slightly back to move potential targets for the opponent out of the way and help the strike deliver more momentum. I am definitely adding this to my technique toolbox.

6 Roundhouse Kicks High and mid-section roundhouse kicks feature in many martial arts. In Muay Thai, they seem to be more full-blooded and less slappy. The low leg and ankle kicks are something I have long admired in Muay Thai Fighters, too, and I haven't seen them much anywhere else. I was shown a basic set-up for one, which went something like this:
i) You are left leg lead front stance; opponent throws a high right roundhouse; you block using left knee and elbow shield; slightly switch stance as left leg comes down; drive your own right roundhouse into thigh of opponent.
Two other set-ups are: left jab, fake right cross, low right roundhouse; or cross, left hook, right roundhouse kick
I am going to experiment with low roundhouse kicks. As I get older and my knees become more dodgy, my kicking is slowing down and it's not as dynamic or high. But the low kicks will leave me less vulnerable to counters and won't compromise my balance as much.

7 Front Kicks Front kicks in Muay Thai have several uses. As in other martial arts, they can obviously cause damage by landing in the face or the solar plexus, but they are also used to push attacking opponents away by front kicking the post leg as the opponent prepares to deliver a roundhouse kick. This kick, aimed at the thigh or, more damagingly, through the knee, not only forces an opponent back and kills his initial offence, but it can also set up other attacking options for you. I had a play with this use of a front kick several years ago when I first saw a UFC fighter use it. I has sort of forgotten it, but i shall be reintroducing it.

8 Grappling We did a little bit of stand-up clinch work and I was introduced to the plumb clinch and knee strikes from it. This involves clasped hands locked around the back of an opponent's neck and arms pulling tight inwards and downwards, then pulling the opponent's head down as you drive knee strikes up. It's pretty devastating. One defence is to turn slightly and bring your own knee across to block incoming knees, but that also means you are off balance and ripe for getting your post leg kicked. There was also a position involving an undertook and an overhook where you essentially push your opponent off with one hand and armbar him, leaving you free to punch him in the face.

I genuinely had a ball doing this. If I ever had the time and I thought my knees would be OK for a prolonged enough period of time, I would certainly add some Muay Thai training in.

As I become an older man, though, I am aware my fighting style has to change from an extensive style where I fight at distance using my long kicking to a more compact and close-range style. I like hapkido because it offers close-range strikes and joint locks and trips and throws, but I can see how long-term training in Muay Thai would add some additional and highly effective close-range weapons into that mix. 

I am a fan and I can see why so many MMA Fighters train in it.

Holiday in Krabi: Part VII...


Today has been a great day. It has consistented of:
Shag
Shower
Breakfast
Beach
Book
Swim
Muay Thai
Shower
Meal Out
Early night watching darts on telly

What this amazing day tells me is that I already have access to many of those things that make up an amazing day. I just need to be better at prioritising them.

Holiday in Krabi: Part VI...


Mark Stevenson's We Do Things Differently is a wonderfully engaging and entertaining book. 

It chronicles his trips around the globe to meet the out-of-the-box thinkers and doers who are challenging the status quo and tackling global problems, such as energy, health, disease and education, by inventing new systems and challenging established practices. 

Examples of this include Peter Dearman, the British engineer whose clean engine is reinventing refrigeration and batteries, and the Austrian town of Gussing, which has created its own energy supplies. 

In a world often dominated by bad news, this book and the work of those it reports on, is not only welcome but also inspiring. It helps restore my faith in a humanity I sometimes feel distanced from. 

Holiday in Krabi: Part V...


Last night, we revisited the Ao Nang Muay Thai Stadium in Krabi to see some kickboxing.
For a smaller local show, the fighting was quite decent and we had a fun night out. The stadium, though, is still a bit ramshackle, and the toilets remain grim. 

My favourite fighters of the night were two young boys of about 11. Both were lightning quick and the eventual winner was the more composed and technical of the two, who was slightly taller and less muscular. He used his leg reach to keep his opponent at bay and exchanged up-close when he knew his opponent was too tired to keep hold of him and out-grapple him in the clinch.

As a hobby martial artist and sometime competitor, it was genuinely impressive and inspiring to see such mastery in such a young boy.

Holiday in Krabi: Part IV...


Earlier today, myself and the Missus walked through a thunderstorm together and we were smiling.

Today is also our 21st anniversary.

If that's not a perfectly timed metaphor for why we have lasted all this time, I don't know what is.

Sadly, I couldn't find the metaphor for her marrying below her station and putting up with a halfwit. Suggestions welcome, though... 

Holiday in Krabi: Part III...


I am reading again. Last year, I think I read a grand total of two books. And that was it.
This is a source of personal shame. But the demands of work basically meant I had nothing left by the time I had retained some form of rudimentary training schedule and kept on top of the other stuff I needed to do.

But one plane journey and six days of holiday and I have started reading again with a vengeance. This has been a joy and the literary hits do far have included:

Hokusai: A Life in Drawing by Henri-Alexis Baatsch
A biography I bought at the Hokusai exhibition at the British Museum about seven months ago. It's a beautiful book with lots of amazing examples of Hokusai's artwork. It's not exactly word heavy, but it's an easily digestible biopic of the man and his work.

Rusty Puppy and Jack Rabbit Smile by Joe R Lansdale:
The latest hard-boiled East Texan crime thrillers in the always entertaining Hap and Leonard series are a hoot. Lansdale is always an entertaining writer and Hap, Leonard, Brett and pals are the luckless shit magnet underdogs you love to root for.

The Power Paradox by Dr Dacher Keltner:
A thought-provoking treatise on the mechanics of power that is part- examination and part-manifesto, whose basic premise is that lasting power must come from genuine altruism.

Think Like a Freak by Steven Levitt & Stephen J Dubner:
The third book in the entertaining and worldwide hit Freakonomics series, which encourages readers to assess problems from unusual perspectives. It's all good stuff, but I particularly liked the sections on ulcers, Nigerian con letters, teaching and quitting. The Space Shuttle story scared me, too.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson:
The phrases 'star blogger' and 'self-help author' usually make me want to throat punch people until they stop moving. Manson's book, though, is quite an entertaining read and his basic premises all seem pretty sound. The basic ideas revolve around deciding what to care about, resilience training, accepting problems as learning opportunities and being responsible for your own happiness. It's pretty good and it offers a lot of valuable insights.

In other news, I am making myself a promise that reading will become part of who I am again. So expect a few more book reviews in this blog...

Holiday in Krabi: Part II...



Today, I found a new use for the opaque doors separating the bedroom from the bathroom.
I decided to recreate the opening title sequence from Tales of the Unexpected.

The Missus thought it was slightly insane. I think it's a fine effort...

Holiday in Krabi: Part I...



I am on holiday with the Missus. This is something we planned and booked a while ago, and the promise of these precious two weeks eventually arriving has been a major factor in me keeping sane at work in the very trying last three  months.

Now we have arrived, though, I am facing one of my pet fears. We are staying in a fabulous resort in a big room, but the bathroom is not exactly fully closed off. It has chic and opaque sliding doors between the bedroom and the bathroom, which means it's not exactly fully sound-proofed.

And this is an issue because I am a nervous shitter at the best of times.

I often struggle to enjoy a 'me-time moment' in the homes of other people if I think they can hear me, and, after 21 years of being with the Missus, I still struggle to relax and 'get involved' if I think she can hear me going.

It's not that I am particularly loud in motion, either. It is just a quirk. I basically don't want people to know I shit and this luxury resort has not being designed with that in mind.

As a result, I am now turning the telly on very loudly to mask any potential noise. I don't think the Missus has worked out what is going on yet. But she will...

Monday, December 18, 2017

Breakdown: Part I: I Am Danny Dyer...

I am suffering with work pressures and one of my coping strategies is to do at least one creative bit of non-work nonsense every day. 

Today, I have mostly given my mind some form of respite from increasingly pressured deadlines by trying to come up with lines that Danny Dyer's EastEnders character, Mick Carter, may say. 

So here is my list so far:
'You're all rub-a-dub-dub and no tub!'
'You're all mash and no pie!' 
'You're all tinsel and no town!'
'You're all "gee" and no "zer"!'
'You're the sort of geezer who'll wear a nappy but is never rash!'
'You're the sort of geezer who'll dunk but will never crumble!'

I will do nothing more creative than this in my working life. Fact.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Grayson Perry: Man in a Dress: Part Two...



The Missus discovered pottery in her late forties and, by a process of osmosis, I have become much more familiar with all things ceramic. So a pilgrimage to Bernard Leach's studio in St Ives and various trips to the twice-yearly Art in Clay exhibition means I have absorbed a bit of love for the art.

The best thing about absorbing somebody else's love for something is that things can catch you by surprise much more easily, like a kiss you weren't expecting, and so it was with Grayson Perry. 

I've been aware of Grayson for a while. The self-proclaimed potter (rather than the more high-art term, ceramicist) won the Turner Prize in 2003, then he delivered a fantastic set of Reith Lectures in 2013, where he discussed the state of the modern art world. As a former community and youth arts worker, his discussion on what represented the boundaries of the art world – and how the gate-keepers of those boundaries kept the idea of folk or community art firmly at the gates – chimed with me.

As the Missus is a huge fan, I've also watched his many TV shows where he examines issues such as masculinity, then goes through his process and explains how he creates his artistic response to those issues, be it in clay, quilt or other massive artwork.

So I had quite high hopes for his recent show, Grayson Perry: Man in a Dress: Part Two, at the London Palladium and I wasn't disappointed. He's a very human, very funny and very engaging raconteur, whose explanations and discussions kept everyone entertaining for a few hours. 

Even better, the Missus sent a tweet in with picture of her at a potter's wheel in Greece in a response for pre-show audience interaction, and a huge version of this appeared on a  screen behind Grayson about 20 minutes into the second half. I was stunned and she was utterly delighted. He also said some nice stuff about what she'd tweeted, too. 

I remain convinced that Grayson Perry is not only a massively talented and important artist, but he's also a thoroughly decent bloke. And, in an age of vaccuous celebrity, that basic requirement of somebody I really like matters.

So, please keep on trucking (well, biking or motorbiking), fella. You remain loved at Brooks Towers.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

How to Be Middle-aged...

I recently came into some cash and, rather than spunking it on several antique snooker cues or a holiday with the Missus, I did an adult thing... and spent it on getting some decking in the garden. 

And, bizarrely, I am happy about this. Like amazingly happy. One of the joys of married life and growing older with the Missus is that I have actually become more responsible and she has become more chilled out about daft nonsense.

The decking is probably evidence of this from my point of view. I have become a little home-maker. 

Of maybe I just have a thing for wood. It is possible...

Friday, September 22, 2017

A Quick Word on Sex...

I like to think that I am as open-minded as every other reactionary Yorkshire leftie of a certain age and I am not a prude when it comes to 'boudoir matters'. Apart from the fact that I have referred to sex as 'boudoir matters'. But, frankly speaking, enough is enough! 

What started out as an amusing email trickle has now become a junkmail deluge of various women wanting me to 'hook up' with them so I can give them a 'booty call' and become their 'fuck buddy'. Yes. This is an actual term. And it has nothing to do with Buddy Holly. RIP.

Various wannabe lovers have explained to me how their boyfriends have cheated on them and they want to film themselves getting 'a severe pounding' so they can send it to their love rat exes. Others have expressed a fascination with 'anal' and want a willing partner to experiment with. On this, I am assuming the ladies in question don't want to be both sponge and stone. To be fair, I didn't make any further inquiries, so I have no idea. 

I can only conclude that one young lady is also into animal cruelty as she wanted me to soak her pet cat till it was dripping wet. Sodden cats are not sexy. They are sad. Fact.

Smut just isn't what it used to be and my junkmail box is now becoming a scary place to visit. However, I am free most Wednesdays...

PS. That last bit was a joke. 

Saturday, September 09, 2017

The Sisters of Mercy at The Roundhouse...


I have long loved all things Gothic when it comes to music. It was a teenage thing, although I was usually too cheery to really embrace the internalised and miserable side of the tribe, and it has stayed with me into adulthood. And no matter what my other musical leanings and loves over the years, and there have been and continue to be many, the Sisters of Mercy remain one of the bands I return to time and time again. 

So it was no surprise that me and my long-time mate, the Goth Barrister from Goole, wended our way to the Roundhouse in Camden to see the Sisters in concert recently. 

The evening was ace and it kicked off with several pints of Jet Black Heart at a BrewDog pub in London, before we headed to the gig. The queue to get into the venue was huge and it featured lots of Goths of all shapes and sizes. The once beautiful flowing locks, lithe frames, make-up and tight-fitting blouses were now, sadly, gone. And that was just the blokes. 

Once the Sisters came onto the stage, none of that mattered, though. 

The band have always been a credible live act through its many incarnations, with lead singer and lyricist Andrew Eldritch and drum machine Doctor Avalanche being the only constants in the line-up. The back catalogue was also well represented, with tracks from the band's three studio albums and 12" single releases performed in slightly rockier versions. More from Vision Thing (1989), the title track from Floodland (1987) and Walkaway from First and Last and Always (1984) were personal highlights. There were also newer tracks that were quite impressive, too.

The evening was maybe a bit of a nostalgia-fest and, at points, a goth singalong. But it was also enjoyable. Although, that's not something a card-carrying Goth should admit...

An Occasional Series of Inspirational Words: Part III...

Friday, July 28, 2017

Other Woman News…


I am slowly making a return to hapkido training, so I had the first of what I hope will be regular one-on-one sessions with the Other Woman. The battleplan is to run through the full syllabus as I strive to get some sort of fluidity and consistency back and assess where I can still be strong. 

Because of my knee and feet injuries, my kicking is woeful. And because of my lack of consistent hapkido training, a lot of my techniques are pretty rusty. My hands are still OK, though, and my wrist and shoulder locks from standing are still half decent. I can also utilise those in my BJJ sparring. Everything else is pretty ropey, though. Dorothy was a long way from Kansas and I feel a long way from black belt.

But it was joyous to spend an hour getting thrown, tripped and joint locked by my Other Woman. Her friendship remains one of the genuine delights of my life.

In the pub afterwards, we veered away from hapkido and, not unusually, got onto sex and discussed allowed lists. Mine rarely changes and my quintet of women usually features tennis ace Venus Williams, writer Mary Shelley, Teri Hall (1980s porn star and not the lead singer of Fun Boy Three), former Corrie actress Shobna Gulati and French film actress Isabelle Adjani, plus whoever I’m currently obsessed with. At the moment, I am a bit in love with Corrie actresses Kym Marsh and Catherine Tyldesley.

The Other Woman then confessed to a surprise entry on her list: Kevin McCloud, who’s the architectural boffin from TV show Grand Designs. I told the Other Woman that she’d be too much for the posh building nerd and she’d only break him with her gropey hands, leaving him shaken and crying in a corner as he mourned his lost innocence and dignity.

Apparently, this was not considered a compliment.

The Ferryman…


Jez Butterworth’s breakthrough play, Mojo, won rave reviews in 1995, then his 2009 play, Jerusalem, which featured a star turn from Mark Rylance, gained him glowing reviews and critical acclaim yet again.

His latest play, which began life at the Royal Court and has now transferred to the West End, is The Ferryman. And it’s pretty fucking amazing.

In a nutshell, this black comedy drama love story tragedy (it beautifully interweaves elements of all these genres) tells the story of an Irish farming family in the early 1980s on the two days they reap the harvest from the family farm. The back story that drives the drama forward examines how British rule in Ireland and the Troubles have impacted on three generations of the family when a body is found in a peat bog and various chickens come home to roost.

The play scrutinises the hot topic of radicalisation, too, as the story moves towards its inevitably grim and bloody conclusion, which mixes elements of Greek and Irish myth. 

Paddy Considine is the star name leading the cast and helping selling tickets in the West End. He is excellent, but it’s a real ensemble piece with a large group of actors that features children and tweens among its numbers. 

Sam Mendes directs and there’s not a weak performance on the stage, but it’s Butterworth’s writing that is the real standout. At times, it’s poignant and moving, and, at other times, it’s laugh-out-loud funny with some great one-liners from the kids in particular. But it’s touching and eloquent and immensely layered without boasting about its own cleverness, too. Three and a bit hours just flew by.

Essentially, it’s a beautifully crafted play and it’s the sort of thing that’s made me want to write a stage play again after a bit of a lay-off. My effort may not be anywhere near as good as The Ferryman, but I have an astonishingly impressive model to inspire me, and that’s sometimes good enough to produce something that is at least half-decent.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Back on the Baize: Part II...


It's been a rough couple of matches on the county pool front. I'm back in the A Team and I'm playing further up the order, which means I'm usually playing the match-hardened tournament players from other county teams. I'm not quite match sharp enough for that at the moment, so I've been on the end of my worst run at county pool, with 0/4, 1/4 and 0/4. 

I've had a couple of half chances and the record could have been a bit better. But the truth is I haven't been sharp enough to put the chances away, despite a much increased practice regime and the feeling it is starting to come together again. 

I started to fly a little bit in the last match, though, and hit a 3/4 and deserved to win at least 3/4 as well. The simple truth is that it will take a bit of time to be fully match sharp and compete against the best players in other counties. But more consistent form is in the post and it should arrive in the next couple of months.

It's still good to back, though. I have missed competing and I have missed the people.