I have broken one of my toes while training.
I would like to pretend I was kicking my way through cement blocks during a demonstration to a wowed audience... but this would be a lie. It was much less dramatic and a bit of a daft/stupid breakage that involved kicking somebody over my head during what is called a sacrifice throw and managing to get my toe caught in his belt/uniform.
I hoped it was just sprained but on waking up this morning it was very painful and very swollen so off to A&E I went. The upshot is it's broken and not dis-similar to what Wayne Rooney did to his foot. And like Wayne Rooney I have to lay of any exercise for at least six weeks. And hobble around a lot.
I did, however, think of the following joke:
Question: What is the difference between me and Wayne Rooney?
Answer 1: Wayne Rooney broke his metatarsal while I narrowly avoided that injury and instead fractured the bone below it by hyperextending the toe.
Answer 2: Wayne Rooney is successful, rich and famous and I am not.
Answer 3: I can read, I have a full head of hair and I am not a love rat.
Answer 4: I am not a cunt.
Choose the answer which you think is the funniest. Or the most accurate...
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