The plan of the Missus, however, is to spend the evening at home watching DVDs while curled up on the sofa with the cats so we are on a DVD-buying mission. She shows me her first suggestion:
‘What is it?’ I inquire.
‘It’s a horror film about a woman alone in a house who is attacked by a maniac.’
‘I’m sure we’d both see the irony if that actually happened while I was out and you were a woman alone in a house who was attacked by a maniac, but do you think it’s the sort of thing you really want to be watching while I’m out and you are a woman alone in a house?’
The Missus thinks and eventually puts it back. Instead she buys a film with Jason Statham, a man we both quite fancy, and Paul, the Simon Pegg and Nick Frost comedy about an alien. She explains:
‘I know we’ve seen it but that way I can still be reminded of you even if you’re not here.’
‘So I’m an alien?’
‘No. You’re called Paul.’
'Right.'
It was nearly affection then I realised I was sort of taking the same approach.
‘Thinking about it I’m doing a similar thing. I’m going to watch people with bad intentions meet and try to spend time damaging and injuring each other. It will be a reminder of you…’
Apparently that wasn’t funny…
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