Saturday, November 16, 2013

Commercial Break...



The great Bill Hicks once said that anyone who calls himself an artist, but then whores himself out to sell product is off the artistic roll call. Done, finito, no longer allowed in the club, etc…

While he does offer sympathy for struggling artists who need the money when they're starting out, he lambasts multi-millionaires who sell themselves to push product for ethically dodgy multi-nationals just so they can add to their millions.



The rest of the routine is scathing about George Michael hawking Diet Coke and is probably one of the few things that is too obscene to be printed here.

I’ve always agreed with Bill Hicks on most things and the latest set of adverts pushing Sky and its various products reminds me of his argument.

One advert features national treasure Joanna Lumley, and another features a faux conversation between Ruth Jones (of Gavin and Stacey fame) having ‘a perfectly natural chat’ with actor chum Robert Lindsay about how brilliant Sky’s various services are.

For me, one of the truths in life is that the only thing you ever really own is your name. And these ‘artists’ have sold theirs to promote the TV arm of a multi-national whose newspapers are alleged to have hacked into the mobile phones of dead British soldiers and at least one murdered schoolgirl. And they must be aware of this but they still choose to ally themselves with it anyway.

Corporate whores selling themselves for the Murdoch buck. Well done…

Monday, November 11, 2013

Dream Lover...

It is early in the morning. I am heading out to work, but the Missus is wide awake and keen to let me know about her latest dream. The Missus has a long history of bizarre dreams, but this one is unusual for the relative lack of violence.
'I dreamt you were having an affair with a French woman...'
'Was she pretty?' I enquire.
'Sultry, lithe and elfin,' she answers. 'You brought her to my mum's house and introduced her as a friend, then you told me you'd been having an affair with her for years.'
'How did you react?'
'I beat you up, then I beat her up...'

I ponder the dream.
'You do realise I'd never have an affair, don't you?'
'Yes. I know that,' she replies.
'Though the French woman sounds lovely. Did you get her phone number?' I inquire.
'It would be wasted on you. The only place anyone as stunning as that would ever look at you would be in a dream. Probably a wet one...'

She does love me, really. Probably...

Saturday, November 02, 2013

Other Woman News...

I am in the pub with the Other Woman. It is a normal evening. We are chatting. About stuff. When she offers the evening's most memorable quote:
'The other thing about fucking somebody in the skull is this...' she mused.

I love my Other Woman. She offers sanity in an increasingly insane world. I am much better for having her in my life.