The Other Woman’s Father has remained a constant source of amazement and exasperation in equal measure to the Other Woman, the Other Woman’s Long-suffering Boyfriend and the Other Woman’s family for many years.
Diagnosed with Parkinson’s several years ago, the medication for his condition has prompted spells of fascination with internet pornography, impulse purchasing of both a pool table and a bar billiards table, and a fascination and subsequent ownership of the type of fireworks reserved for use by civic authorities, which usually require a specialist from Nasa to launch them.
His recent foray to watch an Olympics football match in his wheelchair, and his subsequent belief that he no longer needed a wheelchair during a lucid moment, almost saw the Other Woman and her family lynched by supporters who suspected he was lying about his disabled status in order to secure front-row tickets at Wembley.
In many respects, he’s remained something of an underground hero to me, deciding to carry on as normal wherever possible and not accepting there are certain things a seriously ill man should not do.
Recently, his health has taken a turn for the worse and, now in a minimally conscious state, it’s a matter of when rather than if he finally says goodbye. It’s tough for the Other Woman but she remains amazingly level-headed and stoical about it all.
We were discussing a suitable tribute/epitaph and decided a large-scale display involving a naked woman made out of fireworks with Catherine wheels for nipple tassles was one possibility.
‘Large-scale fireworks, a bit of smut and spunking a huge amount of money on something totally pointless but also quite touching,’ I suggested.
‘It’s what he would have wanted,’ agreed the Other Woman.
