The Best Joke in the World: Parts III & IV...

Q. Why should ambitious people with a love of travel collect stamps?
A. Because 'philately' will get you everywhere!

I'm having the faces of gay men and women, plus paintings of Regency-era architecture, all over my living room. That should 'Brighton' the place up!

Cilla Black...

National treasure Cilla Black has died. The headlines on the 24-hour rolling news channels all read Cilla Black Death. It made it sound like bubonic plague had made a comeback. 

I also have a Cilla Black joke. For any Cilla Black fans reading this, don't worry, it's a bit saucy and it doesn't ridicule or demean her in any way. And it's very funny.

I'll write it up in the next few days and you can judge for yourselves...

The Best Joke in the World: Part II...

'Aaaaaaaaaa!'

'Eeeeeeeeee!'

'Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii!'

'Ooooooooo!

'Uuuuuuuuu!' 

I have irritable vowel syndrome.

The Best Joke in the World: Part 1...

Q. Why should Grandmaster Flash never bully Bono from the U2?
A. Because he's close to The Edge. 

Recycled Jokes No.2...

I told you Kim Jong was Il(l)...

Recycled Jokes No.1...

A former Libyan dictator was assassinated yesterday. He refused to take the advice of one of his guards, who shouted 'Gaddafi. Duck.'

Rioting Jokes...

My favourite two jokes about the riots:

Rioting in Guildford. Three caffe lattes and a three bean salad damaged.

Extensive rioting in Hull. The city centre and several buildings and major landmarks have been destroyed. Officials fear it may cost as much as £7 to repair the damage.