Zante: Part V...

Bloody addictive mobile phone games!

No sooner have I weaned myself off Scrabble and Countdown, then I download Wordbrain... and, by Jimminy Cricket, it is bloody addictive.

It's essentially a wordfinder where the letters forming the identified linked words drop away from a grid once you have found the word. The depleted grid then offers new possibilities. Clear one 4x4 or 5x5 grid, then start another.

I currently have the brain of a whale according to the game's rating system. This is probably not a compliment...

Zante: Part IV....

'You're a sexy lady,
I'm a sexy man,
I may not have too much money,
But I treat you the best I can...'

I have just got out of the shower after a day on the beach and I am serenading the Missus. I am being romantic. I am all allure. She, however, thinks otherwise.

'I am reading a tragic book about a dying man. You can't sing, your rhyme structure sucks... and put some fucking clothes on!'

This was not the response I was looking for. I may dress as a plumber next time I am doing the romance. That always works in the films I watch.

Zante: Part III...

My cultural highlight of the holiday in Greece so far has been a trip to Olympus, site of the original Olympic Games in Ancient Greece.

It's essentially a museum-cum-ongoing-outdoor-excavation-site, a bit like The Forum in Rome, and it's very impressive.

From the demolished temples, to the workshop of sculptor Pheidias, to the arena where the games were contested, it's a fascinating place.

My favourite place was the Palaistra, an area where the wrestlers, boxers and Pankration fighters trained. I even did some punching and kicking drills to get into the spirit of it.

My favourite non-cultural thing a game I invented called Sneaky Bum Touch. This involves subtely touching the bum of your other half when they are not expecting it. Additional points are gained for Sneaky Cock Touch or Sneaky Fanny Touch. This may be the new Pokemon-go! Or Poke-a-man/ho!

Zante: Part II...

I am reading again and it is an utter joy. Although joy may not be the right word considering I am reading about crime and punishment in London, thanks to Catherine Arnold's excellent history on the subject, and the history of syphilis, thanks to Claude Quetel's book.

The Missus did suggest the latter was not appropriate holiday reading, but it's fascinating.

A lot of the moral and social arguments about sexually transmitted diseases in 16th and 17th century Europe were rooted in religious bigotry. It's disturbing to note that we don't seem to have come very far in the 21st century in that respect either.

Zante: Part I...

Me and the Missus are finally on holiday. I say 'finally' because it's been 20 long months since we last had a two-week break.

Our destination is a boutique hotel in a far-away corner of the Ionian island of Zante. It is beautiful and I can see us returning here.

The first thing I note is how long it takes me to fully unwind. It's at least four days. This is bad and it makes me realise how corporate-damaged I'd become at work, operating under continued and ever-increasing pressure in a toxic environment. I can't alter the environment as it's too entrenched, but the long and unrewarded hours are not continuing when I return.

The second thing I realise is that I have done virtually no playwrighting this year. I've done plenty of freelance writing work for money, but I have done little of my own stuff. This changes when I get back.

Finally, I have read one book this year. That will also change as I begin to read again this holiday.

Edinburgh: Part II...

First up on the Things to Do in Edinburgh List was a trip to the Beltane Fire Festival. This is  'a dynamic reinterpretation and modernisation of an ancient Iron Age Celtic ritual of a pagan festival to welcome summer', according to the website.

This saw me, the Missus, the Other Woman and the Other Woman's Long-suffering Fella, plus several thousand other folk, gather on Calton Hill in the middle of the city to watch some pagan re-enactors crown the May Queen and set fire to stuff before processing around the hill.

It was quite a fascinating event, mainly because the PA system was awful so you has to fight your way close to the action to have any clue about what was going on. The lighting of the fire from the temple (pictured badly above) was quite impressive, but it also happened an hour later than advertised.

Pagans and pagan re-enactors are clearly no the most punctual of people. There were other events going on but it was a slapdash on the organisation front and information was quite hard to come by, despite the fact there was a printed leaflet.

So we stuck it out for a bit, then left and went to the pub. 

'We'll talk about this for minutes to come,' commented the Other Woman's Long-suffering Fella. I think even he realised he was being optimistic about this prediction.

 The following day we went to Edinburgh Castle, which was a much more organised and enjoyable experience. The Missus tried to attack a cannon and won, and we also had a poke about in the jail cells, which were very good.

In the evening, we ventured out to the Pleasance, which was one of the venues hosting TradFest. This is a lowish-key festival celebrating traditional art and music, and we saw a folk-meets-bluegrass out called Blue Flint. Fronted by two banjo-playing women, they were excellent, and I bought their most recent CDs, Stories From Home. This has been getting a lot of air play at home and I'll be investing in their other two CDs.

Edinburgh: Part I...

The Missus bought me a surprise trip for my birthday. She didn't, however, tell me where we were going until two weeks after I turned 47, and we arrived at King's Cross Station in London to embark on our adventure. This drove me slightly insane and she milked it for all it was worth. It's fair to say that she squeezed the teat of secrecy bone dry on this occasion...

The bad news was the leaving point meant the suspected trip to the World Snooker Championships was off. The good news, though, was that it meant something else was happening, and I didn't have to wait long to find out. About five minutes later, the Other Woman and the Other Woman's Long-suffering Fella mysteriously appeared and everything fell into place: a Bank Holiday weekend in Edinburgh. 

Getting to Edinburgh, however, entailed a five-hour train journey with the Missus and the Other Woman, who veered between congratulating themselves on their cunning planning... and ripping the piss out of me. This was made even worse because I felt like somebody who'd been on the end of a Jeremy Beadle prank, but who couldn't repeatedly punch those responsible because it was a beautiful and thoughtful kindness. I fear I am not good at not knowing things.

We did some cool stuff and a long weekend with three people I love very much was ace.

Holiday in Thailand: Part IV...

We were too knackered to travel to either of the major kickboxing stadia during our whistle-stop tour of Bangkok, so we made a decision to go and see the Muay Thai when we arrived in Krabi. And Ao Nang Kickboxing Stadium was about 20 minutes away from our hotel, so we went along. 

The stadium itself looks a bit ramshackle but it's perfectly safe and most of the seating is decent enough: the seats near the ring are 1500 baht (about £30) and essentially offer leather sofas on three sides, plus a standing area on the fourth side where the locals watch the fights and bet; while the stadium bleacher seats are 1000 baht (about £20) and aren't as close but offer a slightly elevated view of the action. The beer is pretty cheap, too.

There were nine fights on our card, with each fight lasting five three-minute rounds, unless there was a stoppage or a knockout. Four ringside judges decide the result if there's no stoppage or knockout.

All the fights except one lasted the full distance on the night we went, so it was about three hours of entertainment for £20, which seemed pretty exceptional value. Most of the fighting was of a decent standard, too, with the heavier and older fighters taking a more considered and technical approach, while the younger and leaner fighters were much more aggressive. 

The final fight was between two young children and their kicking was so technically solid it was astonishing. The referees were also incredibly good and kept on top of the action at all times during all the fights.

From a martial arts student perspective, I was intrigued that there weren't a huge amount of punch, punch-elbow or kick-punch combinations thrown. But the gloves looked about 10-12 ounces so I guess consistently kicking with the raw shinbone does more damage over a long period of time than throwing punches in padded gloves, although one of the better and more technical French fighters did cause a lot of damage with a couple of well-timed uppercuts. 

The plum clinch, where fighters get their hands around the back of each other's necks so they can pull the head down and drive knees into the head and the floating ribs, was also used quite a lot. But this was often effectively defended, so it was then turned into either a hip throw or a trip to down the opponent. I am assuming this was a scoring move as it was used quite frequently.

I'd read reviews online about Ao Nang Kickboxing Stadium that were a bit disparaging, but it was a thoroughly enjoyable night out and it felt a very safe environment to be in. It was certainly much less intimidating and much less testosterone-filled than many boxing matches I've seen in the UK. But Muay Thai is a part of Thai culture and also a martial art where both the martial and the art sides are clearly on display in the actual fighting and in the pre-fight rituals.

The night also offered a chance to see a less sanitised but also very traditional side of Thailand. We got there quite early and had a cheeky poke around the stadium and the training facilities next door and the staff were really friendly and helpful. It's well worth a visit. Just make sure you pre-book a cab back if it's a late finish.

Holiday in Thailand: Part III...

I have four basic requirements from any holiday: 
i) Time with the Missus. 
ii) Time to swim on a nice beach. 
iii) Time to read. 
iv) Time to explore something old or cultural.

Thailand is providing all four with stunning scenery and fabulous food thrown in. We should have come here years ago. 

One highlight of the holiday so far is book one from my reading list. I thoroughly enjoyed Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell and his second book, Blink, is similarly entertaining and thought-provoking. 

It explores the premise that unconscious decisions are often more accurate and reliable than decisions taken that are backed up by extensive research and planning. Of course, it isn't quite that simple 

But Gladwell argues that unconscious decisions made by people with experience and understanding are often more reliable than decisions made by equally qualified people who purely rely on statistical data and so-called proof... as the former rely on their unconscious to process data while the latter invariably drown in a sea of excessive information. 

Gladwell sort of concludes that the best results come from a joining of both statistical data with 'blink' decisions, but only as long as the statistical data is directly relevant and the 'Blink' decision-maker has the experience to back up his instinct.

It's a wonderful book and it introduces ideas such as 'thin-slicing', 'sensation transference' and 'white space' when it comes to rapid decision making.

I'll be starting on his third book when I've finished Chuck Liddell's autobiography, which is proving to be an enjoyable and entertaining read. That should be no surprise, though, as I'm a big fan of Liddell and used to love watching him fight in the UFC. 

So another Gladwell book is next up. If I'm not tempted by Victorian Prostitutes or Batman first...

Holiday in Thailand: Part II...

Me and the Missus are having breakfast. It is our first morning at a plush spa resort in Krabbi and I have come up with a cunning plan.

This involves me taking redundancy at work, which as a journalist will probably come round at some point, then me and the Missus spending a year in an Asian country; meaning I can train in a martial art at source, and she can spend a year working as an apprentice potter at source. We're also both writers so we'd write about the experience and about each other, too. 

It's a plan I am very excited about and I am waxing lyrical. 
'It would be fab. We'd have to spend six months beforehand learning another language, we'd have to rent the house out but that would pay for itself, and we'd also have to put a chunk of cash in to make it work. But it would be a great adventure,' I enthuse. 'If we went to Korea, I could train in hapkido at source, while you could get a gig as an apprentice potter. It would take some organising but it would be fabulous. It would be an adventure. And it would be our adventure. Just me and you. How cool would that be?'

The missus is silent. I assume she is pondering the plan. Then she speaks. 
'Somebody's got waffles for breakfast.'

I could feel offended that I am being ignored. Until I realise I have the opening sentence of the book version of our travels...

Holiday in Thailand: Part I...

Me and the Missus are on holiday in Thailand. And here are some thoughts so far:

Bangkok is both insane and amazing.

Ayutthaya is stunning. 

The Reclining Buddha (pictured above) is beautiful, 

Krabbi is utterly enchanting.

Egypt: Part IV...

One of the best days we had on our epic Egypt tour was the full day we spent in Cairo with our own guide and mini-bus.

We kicked the day off at the Pyramids and the Sphinx just outside Cairo. This was both stunning and a bit surreal.

It was stunning because the scale of the three pyramids was incredibly impressive: the big one was made of 2,300,000 huge stones and was amazing. The Sphinx was less impressive but the whole complex was well organised.

The highlight for me, though, was the mini museum housing the reconstructed 3000-year-old boat made of cedar wood. I come from a port town with its own docks and a now-defunct shipbuilding industry so I've always had a fascination with ships and boats and how they are made and what their jobs were.

It was surreal because the whole complex is so close to Cairo and if you look one way it's the pyramids and the Sphinx and lots of desert. But if you turn round it's the backs of hotels, houses and businesses in the not-too-far distance.

We then went to the Egyptian Museum in Cairo. This was a big deal for the Missus as alongside Abu Simbel it was the highlight of the tour. And it didn't disappoint. Two huge floors of antiquities from the Old Kingdom, the Middle Kingdom and the New Kingdom, plus the loot from Tutankhamun's tomb and the rooms containing the royal mummies. We spent three hours there and could quite easily have spent double that.

On the plus side, though, it does mean we have a reason to go back. But we'll probably wait until the latest social unrest is sorted out...

Egypt: Part III...

After the Nile Cruise from Luxor to Aswan and back again, we returned to Aswan to start a four-day cruise exploring the temples of Lake Nasser, ending with the two stunning temples at Abu Simbel.

If life along the Nile was agricultural with crops growing and farm animals bathing and the odd town or city dotted along it, then life on Lake Nasser was a totally different experience. The Nile is no wider than the Thames in most places and was populated along its length on both sides, while Lake Nasser is about 40km wide in some places with very little but rocky outcrops and desert either side.

At times it felt like you were in one of the most remote places on Earth and, indeed, for two days of the trip we had no mobile of wi-fi connection of any type and saw nobody else apart from the people on the ship.

The temples on Lake Nasser were all removed from what used to be the banks of the Nile and placed on much higher ground before the area was flooded and it became Lake Nasser. The other thing about Lake Nasser is that the north of Egypt is very much Arabian while the south of the country around Lake Nasser is seen as Nubian.

The artwork and colours on many of these rescued temples is stunningly well preserved and there was some great stuff to see, but one of the most amazing things about the cruise was the chance to look up and see the stars as there's hardly any pollution and you could actually see the Milky Way with the naked eye.

The two temples at Abu Simbel, the Temple of Ramesses II and the smaller temple of his wife Neferteri, were simply breath-taking and sailing up to them in the cruise ship was an amazing way to see them. Even better, when we were on the ground exploring them we again had very few fellow visitors so we pretty much had them to ourselves at time.

We stuck around to see the light and sound show, which was OK, but the temples themselves were the stars of the show. And the job of moving Abu Simbel from it's former home to its current one is worth a blog post on its own...

Egypt: Part II...

The Valley of the Kings remains the stuff of legend with some sixty-plus tombs of Egyptian pharaohs and the world-famous story of Howard Carter's discovery of the boy pharaoh Tutankhamun's tomb and treasures only adding to the romance.

So to go there when it was not very crowded was a very special experience, and to be one of only three people, alongside the Missus and a mutual friend, in the tomb of the boy pharaoh was astonishing.

You have to pay extra to go into this tomb and in reality the tomb is much smaller and much less well decorated than many of the other tombs in the Valley. But it's the tomb everyone wants to visit and the mummy was in situ and the stone sarcophagus and a gold one were also there so it was a strangely intimate moment at one of the most famous archaeological sites in the world.

We also visited three other tombs (as the entry ticket allows), one with stunning hieroglyphic decorations, one cut very deep into the rock and one very big and impressive tomb. And they were all amazing in their own ways.

The Valley of the Kings is a strangely stark yet beguiling place as all the good stuff is hidden in rock-hewn tombs under the ground and, when you start your descent down the corridors and start looking at the wall carvings, you do get the impression that you're involved in some sort of bizarre time travel.

Sadly all cameras are banned from the Valley of the Kings so we couldn't take pictures but it was a simply stunning day. I was so blown away I didn't even give the Collossi of Memnon much of a second glance.

Egypt: Part I…

The Missus has always had a fascination with Ancient Egypt and she’s wanted to go and see the pyramids, the temples, the Valley of the Kings, Cairo Museum, and sail on the Nile and Lake Nasser since she was nine.

Unfortunately, every time we planned the holiday something would happen. One year it was a bomb, then last year it was the revolution… but this year we thought ‘Fuck it. We’re going!’ And so we did…

The initial plan was to take a Nile Cruise and fly to Abu Simbel, the huge rock-hewn temple of Ramesses II, then head to Cairo to see the Pyramids and the Cairo Museum.

But then we started to realise just how huge the country is and just how little time we were giving ourselves… so the plan expanded and evolved and we ended up doing a cruise down the Nile from Luxor to Aswan and back again, then getting a car transfer back to Aswan to join a cruise sailing down Laker Nasser, ending up outside Abu Simbel Temple before flying back to Cairo to see the Pyramids and the Egyptian Museum.

Not so much of a holiday, more of a logistical challenge…

But it was worth it. We did loads, saw loads and the trip was even better because the country is suffering a dearth of tourism at the moment following the revolution last year.

Tourism remains the main industry in Egypt and the country usually welcomes something like 14million tourists every year but this year it’s estimated that figure won’t even reach 1million. That’s obviously awful for the struggling Egyptian economy but great for us as it felt like we pretty much had the run of the major tourist sites. This was an unexpected bonus.

The people were also lovely and genuinely welcoming and happy to see us. And we never had a sniff of trouble so if you’ve ever fancied doing a trip to Egypt then now is the perfect time to do it.