Rebranding Telly: Part I...

I've decided some telly shows need a title rebrand to more faithfully express their content and the people involved. So here are some I've decided on so far:

Cash in the Attic = Please Let me on TV I'll Do Anything
EastEnders = Shit Shouty Cockney Telly Land
Jamie's Dream School = Should Stick to Cooking, Geezer
Loose Women = Mad and Menopausal
Midsomer Murders = No Blacks, Please, We're an English Rural Idyll
The Model Agency = Nothing of Importance and Populated by Cunts

More will be added at a later date...