Saturday, October 12, 2013

English Martial Arts...

Terry Brown is an English martial artist who began training in kung-fu in 1967 and has nearly five decades of fighting experience under his belt.

In 1980, he began researching English martial arts, and he's now one of the leading authorities on a vast subject that includes using weapons, such as the broadsword, the bill, the quarterstaff, the sword and buckler, and the sword and dagger, and using no weapons, which involves bare-fist fighting and wrestling.

His book, English Martial Arts (Anglo-Saxon Books, 1997) is a very informative and entertaining read, chronicling both the cultural shifts and historical conditions that, from perhaps as early as the sixth century onwards, helped forge a nation of warriors with its own indigenous fighting style.

The book not only includes a potted history of English martial arts and records its eventual decline, thanks mainly to improvements in ballistics, but also includes great stories about some of its early heroes. These include bare-fist fighting champions James Figg, Jack Broughton and Daniel Mendoza; plus some of its lesser-noted characters, such as Elizabethan sailor Richard Peeke, who was captured by the Spanish and agreed to fight for his freedom against up to six armed men at once... as long as he could use a quarterstaff. Peeke defeated his opponents and won his freedom.

The early chapters chart how the Company of Maisters, the governing body who controlled schools of self-defence and the teaching of martial arts in England, was established. The Company of Maisters was obviously important as it won royal patronage from both Henry VIII in 1540 and James I in 1605, and the 'schools of the science of defence' that flourished under the banner of The Company of Maisters were run along the lines of other respectable trades with strict rules and regulations.

The schools also had a strict order of promotion, very much like the ranking and belt system in many modern martial arts, and students first entered as a Scholar, before being promoted via a series of open challenges to the rank of Free Scholar, Provost and then Master. The Company of Maisters itself was governed by the Four Ancients, who were the four most senior members of the organisation.

Brown's book also includes details on the theory of fighting, such as the Four True Times, the Four False Times, the Four Grounds and the Four Governors, organising rules from more than 700 years ago about how and when to attack, which will make complete sense to anyone who's ever taken part in a sparring session, whether it involves weapons, hands and feet, or just hands.

It's a wonderful book that's clearly written by someone who's passionate about his subject. And it's also worth remembering that, with the current resurgence of martial arts thanks to MMA, England also has much older martial arts traditions to sit alongside its rich history of boxing and wrestling.

Anyone fancy a bit of quarterstaff work?

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Masters Of Sex...


I return home from a busy day at work, followed by a martial arts training session. I am exhausted. The Missus, however, is quite chipper as her latest freelance project is going quite well.

'How was your evening?' I inquire. I am a caring husband. This is what caring husbands do.
'It was fab. I finished my work then watched Masters Of Sex on Channel 4. It was very good,' she replies.

I know Masters Of Sex is a much-heralded drama series starring Michael Sheen. I also know the Missus has a crush on the aforementioned Mr Sheen. He's on her allowed list.

'Well, it's got "him" in it, hasn't it? You were obviously going to enjoy it,' I say. Trying not to sneer. But failing.
'It has nothing to do with "him". It's just a very good series, although he is excellent.'
'You fancy "him", don't you?' I say. Before realising I am descending into teen umbrage.
'Yes. I suppose I do. He's unconventionally attractive. I like unconventionally attractive men. Hence you...'

This is what is called a backhanded compliment. It's also called an insult. 'Unconventionally attractive'. It will be my epitaph...

Monday, October 07, 2013

Other Woman News...

Me, the Missus, the Other Woman and the Other Woman's Long-suffering Boyfriend recently went to a mutual friend's wedding.

They'd kindly offered me and the Missus a lift as we were all staying overnight at the same hotel. Sadly, their car had a few problems with a dead battery so we had a slight drama getting there.

We made it, however, and the wedding was a blast... but, when it came to leaving the following morning, we had another battery problem so the four of us were stranded in a hotel car park for more than an hour waiting for the battery to recharge.

We kept ourselves amused and here are some of the things we learnt:
i) The Missus wants to start her own pottery and ceramics business.
ii) The Other Woman wants to grow vines and produce her own wine.
iii) The Other Woman's Long-suffering Boyfriend speaks much sense when he questions the Other Woman's lack of any horticultural knowledge of any description.
iv) It's probably OK for me to like Jay-Z. Even though I'm realistically too old, too white and too middle-class. As long as I don't keep 'fucking going on about it'.
v) The Missus is 'sick to death' of her 'idiot husband' 'poncing about with his stupid, fucking hair' and wishes 'he'd just have it fucking well cut.' Apparently.

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Sound Advice...

I've been discussing my current writing projects with my oldest friend. Her advice is:
'Stick with the criminals and the prostitutes. It's your bag, baby!'

She has much wisdom, does my oldest friend.