Grappling with Grappling: 2022 and Done!

While lots of 2022 was lost in a much too much work and some grim other stuff involving people I love, my grappling adventures remained a source of compelling challenge, frustration and joy. 

I had three goals at BJJ in 2022. They were:

    * Attend 150 classes

    * Win my first fight at purple belt

    * Make the improvements to be considered for brown belt in 2023

And I managed all of them.

I was a late starter at martial arts. I didn't discover it until my early thirties. But I'm delighted that I did. It's been a constant journey of self-knowledge and self-improvement in all sorts of ways. And it's why I'll keep doing it in some form until my body will no longer wear it. 

In 2023, I'm also applying the discipline I invested in BJJ in 2022 to restart my playwrighting work. If I can find the time to train, roll and spar with skilled people in their twenties and thirties, I can also find the discipline to create time to do something I enjoy and I'm good at. 

Anyway, there'll be a new play by the end of June. Just saying...

Competition Time...

Finally! At the fourth attempt, my first wins at purple belt.

My opponent in gi was a no-show, so I went into a three-man event in no-gi. This is not my preferred discipline of the two. Result: two fights and two hard-fought submissions against skilled and gracious opponents, and a gold medal. 

There were points in both fights I had to hang in a bit. But as soon as I got my closed guard shut, I felt like I was reasonably OK. There were also points in both fights I thought, 'I can win this.' That quickly became, 'I can win this. Don't fuck it up by being overly creative.'

I was decent at this event, but I've been around long enough to realise I also had a day where I got everything right. I also leveraged a couple of small position errors my opponents made to force myself into a better position.

There will be other days where stuff goes wrong and I get smashed again. But I'll take today.

Work Meeting Notes: Amsterdam...

An occasional series based on my Tuesday morning presentation updates at work:

Morning. It’s National Don’t Go into Work and Curl up Under a Duvet Day. (Yawn) Which is good news for me as I’m back from four days in Amsterdam. And, yes, I fully indulged in all the traditional Dutch recreational pleasures. In fact, I indulged in a heroic amount of traditional Dutch recreational pleasures. Probably explains the comedown. (Lips smack) I fancy a Muller Corner.

Amsterdam was great. I bumped into Amsterdam’s oldest man. I said, “I’m a newcomer to Holland. From another country. Can you give me the location of Anne Frank’s house?”
He said, “I’m not making that mistake again.”

This week. I’ll be mainly be writing and reading stuff. (Lips smack) I really fancy Peanut M&Ms.

I saw a lot of art at the weekend and here are my two favourite pieces.
“Oh. Stars. Oh, the Moon. It’s dark, isn’t it?”
That’s the Night Watch by Rembrandt.
“Stayed in. Stayed in. Stayed in. Stayed in. Stayed in…”
That’s The Diary of Ann Frank.

If anyone asks, it's nothing to do with drugs. I’m tired because I queued up for three hours at Schiphol Airport, then my flight was delayed for three hours and I didn’t get until the early hours of the morning. That’s all from me.

Grappling with Grappling...

I've just done a class about attacking for the kimura and the underhook back take from bottom half guard. From this, we moved into the hip switch pass from top half guard and into half butterfly sweeps.

The hip switch pass is something new for me. Alongside the knee block, plus the leg swing out and back into the chronic position from bottom half, this is going to be added in.

I also need to remind myself about all the half butterfly attacks, too, from the sweeps to the back takes to the submissions.

This BJJ lark can be quite complicated. Even though I only try to use simple stuff.

Competition Time...

Another BJJ competition at purple belt and another defeat. It's true that I was fighting somebody 10 years younger than myself. But I made a basic error early on and couldn't recover in time. It wasn't an age difference that was the issue here. 

The thing is that a couple of parts of my game, namely full guard and two variations of that, are pretty decent. But I need to be able to get to those positions to be effective. 

So there's a new game plan forming for starting matches and this is what I'll be focusing on for the next couple of months. I don't really need radical new techniques. I need to make the ones I am using badly work more efficiently. 

So here are notes on things I need to add in: 

• Use the guard pull from standing that Keenan Cornelius talks about. He sets it up like a sacrifice throw, but it adds additional torque to the off-balancing of the opponent. Also use this guard pull to go straight to Del la Riva and Deep Del.
• When on bottom in half guard and I'm getting passed, use the bicep overhook and the knee block to swing out and swing back into the Chronic position. 
• When passing on top in half guard, use the knee-on-belly and head grab pass. Then switch to palm up and fingers in collar grab on the passing side of the opponent and turn the forearm to apply pressure to the jaw of the opponent to keep his head turned away and limit his movement. Also threaten the cross collar choke to distract the pass.

I'm no longer going to take notes on individual classes or techniques as I have been doing. I now only add a technique in if I can see it adding to my game.

Work Meeting Notes: Hiking Holiday...

An occasional series based on my Tuesday morning presentation updates at work:

Morning. I am back from my hiking holiday and I survived. So that’s good, isn’t it? Sadly the two people I was taking on their first walking trip didn’t. But you can’t expect everything to go according to plan, can you?

This week, I will mainly be: 

• Doing some writing
• Doing some editing
• Doing some proofreading
• Trying to ensure we don't get sued

Finally, I thought I’d share some olde worlde homespun hiking tips I picked up from wise old hikers over the weekend: 

• Red sky at night, Tescos is on fire, don’t shop there.
• Don’t eat yellow snow or to the hospital you must go.
• Don’t cross a river in spate or you’ll slip on a rock, smash your head on a jagged rock and die.

That’s all for me.

Work Meeting Notes: Pandemonium Day...

An occasional series based on my Tuesday morning presentation updates at work:

Today is Pandemonium Day. So everyone can do whatever they want and get away with it. For purposes of legal liability, that last statement may not be true. But it should be.  

 
In other news, I’ll be leaving this job. As many of you know, I'm a scriptwriter and I’ve been head-hunted to write an alternative version of Stranger Things. It’s called Ordinary Things and here’s an extract:  
 
Titles. 

The words Ordinary Things flicker on a grey screen. 

The Diary of Horace Wimp by the Electric Light Orchestra plays in the background.  
Cut to a bed in an untidy bedroom.  
A figure is under the covers.  
An angry voice penetrates the silence.  
‘Eleven. Eleven. Eleven!’ 
The figure in the bed stirs.  
The angry voice continues.  
‘Eleven. It’s eleven. Get up you lazy bastard. The bins need emptying.’  
A man emerges from under the covers. 

He is bearded, has aquiline features and wears glasses. 

He has the torso of a prize fighter and the looks of a male model. 

He is the sort of man that women want and men admire. 

In the interests of balance, men can want him and women can admire him as well.  
He looks at his watch.  
‘Shit. Overslept again.’ 
Titles. 

End.

A Thought Experiment...

Imagine being Boris Johnson. Today. Besieged.

Now imagine being Boris Johnson in a room with Priti Patel. And the 'brains' behind the Rwanda policy is the one telling you to resign. While she stays 

What a fucking atrocity of leadership and government.

Beer Review: Salopian Polygraph Stout

It's very dark and it tastes a bit of liquorice. It's very sweet and it doesn't thicken too much as it chills. At 7.5 avb, it's not disgustingly strong and it's eminently drinkable.

Expert comment: Generous, welcoming and warm, it's like a sloppy kiss from an over-affectionate friend. 

Work Meeting Notes: An Apology...

An occasional series based on my Tuesday morning presentation updates at work:

While recently working on my computer in the office, I opened up and lingered on a certain web page.

This contained an image of a John Deere Precision AG Autonomous 8R Tractor engaged in ploughing action.

I’d like to apologise to the colleague who approached my desk at this moment.

I now appreciate, thanks to the ensuing screams and tears, that this image triggered a gruesome memory.

This involved the sharpened blades of a John Deere Precision 20 Combine Harvester repeatedly slicing through a cockapoodle named Tinkerbell.

I also appreciate the term ‘dog salami’ was not a useful phrase to employ at this juncture.

For the record, I opened this page by entirely by accident.

I was trying to view a website called ‘Top-rated adult actors’.

My apologies…

New Cats: Part V...

 

Like a Victorian heroine overcome with a severe fit of the vapours, today I retired to my day bed to write. The cats have joined me.

Dotty lounges by my leg. Dolly, however, keeps her distance and remains world-class at giving me the side eye...

The Mission...

In 1986, I was a 17-year-old sixth form student at Goole Grammar School in the first term of his A levels. One of my best friends had just passed his driving test, and he drove me and two other mutual friends to my first-ever gig.

This was goth band The Mission at Leeds Polytechnic on 4 November. All About Eve supported them and they were fabulous. Then Wayne Hussey and chums came onto the stage and it was love at first sight. I've been a fan ever since.

Fast-forward 36 years and 170 days later and I finally catch up with The Mission again. The best friend is with me and Rose of Avalanche are supporting them at Shepherds Bush. I'm pleased to report the music of both bands still stands up and it was a joyous occasion.

Competition Time...

Only one match today and I lost to a choke with about 30 seconds to go. No complaints. I made a daft mistake mistiming my guard pull and I spent four minutes trying to recover the situation, before succumbing to the choke. 

But back to the mats this week to improve with another competition to build towards at the end of July. I also got a cheeky bronze for at least turning up and fighting. 

I will win a match at purple belt at some point.

New Cats: Part IV...

We've been slowly introducing the new cats to the idea of going outside. We do this by not feeding them first thing in the morning, then opening the back door and letting them roam around in the garden for 10 minutes before calling them back in for food. 

This morning, however, neither of the bitches gave a flying fuck about eating and eschewed my best attempts at luring them back in. They were straight through the garden, onto the decking, up the tree, over the high fence and away to explore. I can't help thinking they've been planning this. It's essentially the feline version of The Great Escape. Which makes me a Nazi guard. Not a sentence I ever thought I'd write.

The Missus was in bed while this was going on and I dreaded delivering the news, 'I may have lost the cats...' Both briefly ventured back into the garden, then a slightly fraught hour later one came back for food, closely followed by the other.

I locked the back door and vowed it was never happening again. Or at least not until the following morning when we would try to teach them how to use a cat flap.

I remember the first time we let the Boy walk to school on his own when he was about 11. That was nerve-wracking and the school was only at the top of the road. We also left the house 20 seconds later and followed him to make sure he was safe. 

We can't do that with cats as it would involve clambering over fences and going through other people's gardens. Having a child was much easier.

Beer Review: Kernel Export Porter...

A totally reliable and eminently drinkable stout. This Kernel is always a major hit. My only gripe is that it's not on general release everywhere.

See what I did there wordsmiths?