Sunday, January 26, 2020

A Content Consumer Recommends...

Film
Jojo Rabbit: Gloriously funny and moving comedy-drama from New Zealand director Takia Waititi. Set at the end of World War Two, it follows a young German boy obsessed with the Nazi Party and Hitler. The latter also happens to be his imaginary friend (pictured above). The film follows the lad's adoption of Third Reich ideology and the eventual shattering of that way of thinking. Roman Griffin Davis is excellent as the lonely schoolboy, while Waititi has a blast playing the Austrian-born dictator. Sam Rockwell is also fabulous as the leader of the local branch of the Hitler Youth. I genuinely can't recall seeing a better film in a long time. It's an utter joy.

The Foreigner: Netflix movie starring Jackie Chan as a father out for revenge against the rogue cell of Irish terrorists who murdered his daughter. He becomes embroiled in a plot involving Pierce Brosnan's bloody bid to forward the peace process. A surprisingly good thriller.

Jumanji: The Next Level: Enjoyable sequel nonsense starring the Rock. It's by the numbers but it's good fun. And it has the Rock. But I may have mentioned that already.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: This could be a long and over-wrought analysis of why it's not a good enough ending to something many folk my age have a massive emotional investment in. Instead, it's probably just about OK. It's much better if you don't go in there without your critical faculties engaged and, instead, you simply marvel at the set pieces and enjoy the nods to the previous movies. It does have a couple of great scenes and some good dialogue. But, frankly, it doesn't deliver or surprise or innovate.

TV
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Quite simply the best sitcom on TV. If you're in with the premise and the characters and their dark, anti-Friends world, it remains a thing of glorious brilliance. Highlights of Season 14 include the noir thriller pastiche The Janitor Always Mops Twice, the wonderfully astute The Gang Solves Global Warming and A Woman's Right to Chop, and the brilliant film focus group episode, Thunder Gun IV: Maximum Cool. I  fucking well adore this series. Please make season 15 soon. 

Broken: Netflix documentary series examining dodgy businesses around the globe and how their marketing arms and business practices make many of them morally bankrupt. A sometimes depressing, frightening but fascinating watch. Cosmetics, vaping and furniture are among the subjects examined.

Dracula: A hotly anticipated adaptation – of sorts – of the Bram Stoker novel from Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat. I really liked the opening episode and the second episode was OK. But the third episode felt like a convoluted episode of Skins with the writers not quite knowing how to escape the clever story maze they'd got a bit lost in. 

The 120-press-ups-a-day Challenge: Part IV...


The good news is that I'm now racking up 150 press-ups a day. The bad news is that I've also watched a video teaching viewers the correct form and posture for press-ups. I haven't exactly been doing them incorrectly, but I also haven't been doing them to ensure I get the optimum benefit. 

So next week will see a bit of experimentation and refinement on how I deliver a better down and up motion. Make your own gags... 

Who'd have thought press-ups could be so complicated?

Anyway, the results so far: 
Day 24 Accumulative Press-ups Total: 2310
Day 24 Weight: 13 stone 2 pounds
Day 24 Waist: 36 inches
Day 24 Chest: 40 Inches

So no major changes. But I plan to keep going with this and I'll hopefully see some physical gains at some point. Probably...

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

The 120-press-ups-a-day Challenge: Part III...


Alongside trying to train BJJ and Hapkido, this press-up lark is very hard work. Whoever thought of doing if is clearly a fucking moron. Oh, hang on, it was me. Hating press-ups sees me in good company, though. 

There is footage of legendary grappler and 'Gracie Hunter' Kasushi Sakuraba (pictured above) training press-ups while he's preparing for a fight. Even he stops doing them and grabs a breather the moment his trainer's back is turned. 

Anyway, the results so far: 
Day 17 Accumulative Press-ups Total: 1560
Day 17 Weight: 13 stone 3 pounds
Day 17 Waist: 36 inches
Day 17 Chest: 40 Inches

So nothing on the physical front has really changed very much. It certainly has not made me more rugged and macho. 

On the plus side, my scales give me a weather report. It's going to rain. For most of the week. Fucking technology...

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Dating Tips...


Don't tell your wife that you can imagine her happily butchering the carcasses of various breeds of livestock with a chainsaw on your 23rd anniversary meal. 

Apparently, it's not 'romantic'.

But women are funny like that...

Friday, January 10, 2020

The 120-press-ups-a-day Challenge: Part II...


It's Day 10, minus rest days at weekends so it's actually Day 8, and the challenge continues. 

The good news is that it's getting slightly easier. I've managed to hit the 40 consecutive press-ups mark without a break a couple of times and I manage at least one set of 30 consecutive press-ups each day. This means I'm usually breaking down 120 press-ups into five sets. That will improve next week when the plan is to do it in four sets before I increase the daily number the following week. 

I will crack the 100 consecutive press-ups threshold at some point this year! Unless the Missus tires of me heaving and gasping in the bedroom every morning. Apparently, this is not an attractive sight. I cannot imagine why. I always assumed me in my Deadpool boxer shorts would drive any laydeez wild.

Anyway, the results so far: 
Day 10 Accumulative Press-ups Total: 960
Day 10 Weight: 13 stone 3 pounds
Day 10 Waist: 36 inches
Day 10 Chest: 40 Inches

PS. The picture is of famed wrestler Frank Gotch. It is not of me. Just in case you thought it was. We are often mistaken for one another...

Tuesday, January 07, 2020

Malcolm and the Murder...



Here's a short play I wrote and directed in the summer for the 2019 Guildford Fringe Festival. I filmed it during one of the rehearsals and I finally got round to editing it together in December.

I'm planning on writing a 90-minute story, comprised of six 15-minute episodes, using the same three characters later this year. That is alongside a new stage play that explores the impact of dementia and the polarisation of Brexit, rewrites on an old stage play about grief, and a graphic novel about Dracula that I'm co-writing with a friend. It's all quite exciting.

If you can be bothered to watch this offering, I hope you enjoy it.

Friday, January 03, 2020

Quote of the Day...


Canadian darts player and three-times World Champion John Part was commentating on the recent PDC Darts World Championship final between eventual winner Peter Wright and Michael Van Gerwen, the dominant force in the game and perhaps one of the greatest sportsmen in the world at this present moment.

Part was discussing Wright's poor record in the finals of major tournaments against Van Gerwen and he came out with the following gem. To paraphrase it, he said that Wright's previous losses have given him so much scar tissue that he wasn’t afraid of being cut any more.

If you've done anything to any standard before, resilience training is part of your routine. You fuck up and you learn not to fuck up quite so badly the next time. 

Part's words sum up much of what I have learnt from playing pool, writing and martial arts: that failure is actually training to fail less badly the next time... and eventually succeed. 

Love John Part! 

Image: @DarthMaple180

Wednesday, January 01, 2020

The 120-press-ups-a-day Challenge: Part I...


A new thing I am doing in the lead-up to my first BJJ tournament of the year, which is towards the back end of February, is trying to add muscle to my frame. I've never been particularly muscular, despite doing gyms and weights, so this is a new bid to add mass. 

The main reason for doing this is to protect myself by adding padding, which should help my body avoid injury. It should also give me extra strength, too, which is a nice additional benefit. 

Anyway, above is a picture of me post-Xmas and below are my measurements, so I can keep track of where I am and what I look like. 

Day 1 Accumulative Press-ups Total: 120
Day 1 Weight: 13 stone 6 pounds
Day 1 Waist: 37 inches
Day 1 Chest: 40 Inches

I will be an Adonis. Like Steve Beaton. Probably...