I fear I’m becoming a racist, a big bigot and a hate monger of the worst kind.
That’s because I am starting to loathe Americans. Fortunately it is not all Americans as I have several friends from the US who I know to be reasonable, decent, fair-minded and level-headed people. So it’s not them (but then again they have been over here for a while now so many of our better national characteristics – fair play, calmness, self-depreciation, irony – have probably rubbed off on them).
No. I’m talking about the others. Specifically that gaggle of loud-mouthed wannabe sophisticated yummy mummies who brought their scrapbag of ill-mannered kids to the cinema yesterday. Yes, that’s you, the same awful bints who then proceeded to let the little brat bastards talk all the way through the film, despite everyone else’s attempts to politely ask them to convince their kids to be quiet.
And I’m also talking about the loud-mouthed, lard-arsed dummies who happened to be following me and the Missus around the surrealism exhibition at the V&A today. Yes you, you fucking idiots, who not only decided to have VERY LOUD discussions about the meaning of surrealism, but also managed to mispronounce the name of every artist and get every fact your hamburger-eating mouths uttered entirely wrong – then to top it all off dismiss the entire movement with the following sentence ‘Well, surrealism was never very big in the States any how.’
Lots of things are clearly not very big in the States – like manners, education and healthy eating if you idiots were anything to go by – but that doesn’t mean the rest of the world dismisses them as unimportant.
Anyway. Rant over. I’m now going to read some Arthur Miller or Mark Twain and listen to some Steve Reich to restore my Yanks Are OK equilibrium…
PS. The surrealism show was fantastic. A really well laid-out, well-planned and superbly researched exhibition. The exhibits were wonderfully bizarre too.
PPS. Magritte is not pronounced Mah-grit and never has been.
PPPS. Dali is not pronounced Dalai as in Dalai Lama. Even by people undergoing speech therapy. You utter prize idiots…
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