I turned 44 a few weeks ago. Fortunately I'm probably in the best health of my life and have so far avoided the family triple whammy of dementia, piles and baldness that seems to strike many men in my family.
Even so, the one fate I cannot seem to avoid is joining a certain marketing demographic as, one week after my birthday, I was invited to book a cruise on some Saga-type holiday.
I'm expecting the advertising flyers for rubber sheets, bath chairs, care homes and natural Viagra courtesy of Pele any day now.
I couldn't be less impressed. Innit.