'You see, all you have to do is occasionally feed me, fuck me and let me go out once in a while, and I'm sorted.'
'I suppose you're quite low maintenance,' she comments, not really paying much attention.
'I don't watch much out of life...'
'You're very loyal, too. It's something I've always liked about you,' adds the Missus.
'And you do enjoy walking, too.'
'Low maintenance, loyal, likes walking and sometimes demands food and sex...You'd make a very good dog.'
'But dogs are stupid?'
'Yes. You'd make a very good dog...'