Throughout the two-year battle with the disease, his son had shown immense courage and a refusal to let this horrible disease get the better of him. The friend and the friend's family had shown a similar courage throughout what must have been a horrendous ordeal.
Myself and the Missus attended the funeral. To be perfectly honest, it was a day I dreaded ever since hearing the news of the child's passing. At the same time, though, there was never any question that we weren't going to be there.
Funerals are never good things at the best of times. But when it's a parent burying their child, the circumstances are about as bad as it can be. Of course, you're there to lament the loss and support the parents. But how do you offer words of comfort in those circumstances? What can you possibly say to offer salve to the wound of where a life used to be?
The service was incredibly moving and, from the church, we went back to a church hall for a get-together, where the father had done a slide show of pictures of his son, so those who didn't really know him could get a sense of him. And there were pictures of him with his family, pictures of him as a baby, pictures of him with various celebrities. The over-riding sense was here was somebody who was just up for life.
And there were pictures of him with his father, both before he got ill and while he was ill. And you saw the love. It was an almost tangible thing. And you realise that is the thing that's left, it's the thing that remains. The love. And some people never have that or don't know how to give that. But here it was just such an evident thing.
I remain genuinely devastated for the son's death and for my friend's loss. But I'm pleased that legacy of love remains. The older I get, I realise love is the only thing that really matters any more.
And I hope that love provides comfort at Christmas. Because I know that will be a hard time for him and his.
Thinking of you, buddy. And lots of your friends are, too. Even if they don't directly say it.
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