This involves us playing at the national finals in Great Yarmouth a couple of times every year, where a few thousand players gather at a caravan park and compete over a weekend. I've been playing in these events for about 25 years and it was good to be back again. Our team did pretty well, but one of the highlights of the weekend was an altercation with an old woman who's infamous for her foul mouth and bullying behaviour.
Playing in a packed room, she came over to our team to demand we move and make extra space for her side. This was impossible and, when a polite explanation of this failed, we either opted to ignore her or argue with her. She eventually left us alone, but she's essentially a bitter woman who seems to get her kicks from spouting bile and insulting anyone she can insult. You get the impression that there's not a lot of joy in her life.
About an hour later, I was stood in the queue for the on-site chip shop when I heard the tap-tap of her cane behind me. She then spent the next 10 minutes complaining about the length of the queue and how she feared there may not be one of her favourite pies left.
She tried to engage me in conversation about this, but I decided not to engage. I suspected she only one comment away from criticising the beleaguered server in the chip shop for being from Poland and coming over here and stealing chip shop jobs from local people. And I wasn't going to be racist out of politeness.
I eventually order, then the woman in question eventually gets to the front of the queue.
'That took bloody long enough!'
'How can I help you, madam?'
'You got any mince beef and onion pies?'
'Sorry. We've sold out!'
'I fucking knew it. What you got left?'
'Chicken and mushroom...'
'Don't want that muck!'
'Cornish pastie?'
'You can stick your Cornish pastie up your arse...'
'We have chips left.'
'I'll better fucking have them then.'
Rude, cantankerous and full of anger... with no good reason that I could see. That's probably not how to grow old.
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