Other Woman News...

Me and the Other Woman have met up for a pre-Xmas drink and the beer and the conversation is flowing – until she drops this little gem into the proceedings.
'I know what I meant to ask you... Would you ever shag an Ewok?'

Sensing this is not as straightforward a question as it seems I delay my response.
'This is a trick girl question where even the right answer will turn out to be wrong, isn't it?'
'Not at all,' she replies. 'It's just that my other half sometimes says that sleeping with me is like shagging an Ewok because I'm quite short. So I was just wondering whether you'd shag an Ewok and think it was wrong?'

I take my time. A wrong answer here could damage years of friendship.
'Well for a start you're not covered in fur and you've also got a good two feet on most Ewoks. Even the big ones.'
'That's what I said.'
'And he's presumably not complaining about this either before or during said shagging?'
'No. Any shagging would be off the agenda if he did...'
'Well... if it was an Ewok in you form then I'd definitely not worry about it. In fact I think it would be fab...'
'And in Ewok form?'
'Not terribly interested...'
'Sure?'
'OK. I'd still probably give it a go. Don't knock it till you've tried it, sort of thing...'
'Good. You also should remember that Ewoks are quite resourceful. If they can make things that swing from trees to smash hi-tech weapons then a shagging hammock and all sorts of S&M paraphenalia probably isn't beyond them either...'

So there you have it. Ewoks: the sexual deviants of the universe...