Ear, Ear...

Thanks to my ongoing allergy and one very violent sneezing fit that lasted for about two hours on Xmas Day 2008 I now have partial deafness in my right ear.

When I eventually kicked up a fuss about it my doctor sent me for an MRI scan and I went in today to collect the results.

The first thing the doctor told me was that it was good news as he'd checked the MRI scan and it showed that I don't have a brain tumour. This was news to me as I wasn't aware I was at risk but, apparently, neural damage that results in hearing loss in some very rare cases can be caused by a brain tumour placing pressure in the aural area.

Unfortunately when he first told me this I initially misheard him and thought he said 'brain tuba' so we were talking at cross purposes for the opening five minutes.

Sadly he then told me the damage to my hearing was probably permanent... but he did offer me the chance to get fitted for a hearing aid if the condition degenerated any more. I am 40 years old and I have the option of having a hearing aid. I veered between manic laughter and Malcolm Tucker-esque swearing on the walk from the surgery to the station.

The Missus has been very sympathetic, though. Well, apart from cracking the obvious 'Pardon' gags. And threatening to trade me in for a younger model. Love her...