I am grading in a week and a bit for parts two and three of my second dan in Hapkido. This is quite a lengthy process and there are about 12 parts in total so I am some way off a new belt. But, for the first time, I will be grading alongside the Other Woman, who has passed part two and is grading for part three.
This means we are grading buddies and we will be testing at the same time. This should be a lovely and harmonious experience. Unfortunately, she is uber-competitive and it has trouble written all over it, particularly as there will be sparring involved and we are also grading with weapons.
How competitive is she? Well, she's entered a 'just-for-fun' Bake Off competition at work and she is genuinely considering poisoning the other contestants to ensure victory.
I suggested this was not a normal course of action. She sneered.
This morning, we stayed after class and did an hour of running through Hapkido techniques leading up to black belt. Even trying to be gentle, she was in an unforgiving mood and she seemed to enjoy wrist-locking me and slamming me to the mat a little too much.
She then went onto to tell me that I should see these rapid and sometimes painful descents at high speed as 'mat cuddles'.
An hour later, I am so sore from 'mat cuddles' that I can barely move. Fortunately, we have another review and grading preparation session booked in for next week. And I am going to 'mat cuddle' the fuck out of her tiny, violent and malevolent frame.
If I can move by then...
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