I am on holiday with the Missus. This is something we planned and booked a while ago, and the promise of these precious two weeks eventually arriving has been a major factor in me keeping sane at work in the very trying last three months.
Now we have arrived, though, I am facing one of my pet fears. We are staying in a fabulous resort in a big room, but the bathroom is not exactly fully closed off. It has chic and opaque sliding doors between the bedroom and the bathroom, which means it's not exactly fully sound-proofed.
And this is an issue because I am a nervous shitter at the best of times.
I often struggle to enjoy a 'me-time moment' in the homes of other people if I think they can hear me, and, after 21 years of being with the Missus, I still struggle to relax and 'get involved' if I think she can hear me going.
It's not that I am particularly loud in motion, either. It is just a quirk. I basically don't want people to know I shit and this luxury resort has not being designed with that in mind.
As a result, I am now turning the telly on very loudly to mask any potential noise. I don't think the Missus has worked out what is going on yet. But she will...
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