Other Woman News...

Sadly, one of the minus points of no longer training in hapkido is that I get to see the Other Woman on a less regular basis. 

Fortunately, she recently visited Guildford and we went to BJJ together, then she crashed over. The following day we were running through some techniques and I was showing her a new throw I'm using a lot. It is not unusual for me and the Other Woman to be grabbing each other or rolling around on the floor doing techniques. 

When the Missus walked in, she didn't bat an eyelid and simply said to the Other Woman:

'Make sure you don't hurt him. He has to work.'
To which the Other Woman replied: 

'Don't worry. I'm having trouble grabbing him through his back fat.' 

In the metaphorical sense, I am as far from thin-skinned as it's possible to get. But that doesn't mean that I physically have a fat back. It's true that I did add about half a stone during lockdown, but I am now back to my normal weight of 13 and a half stone. This is not fat.

Of course, when it comes to ridicule, none of that matters. The Missus now makes fat back jokes and throws insults on a daily basis, while the Other Woman texts me fat back insults. I am a victim of fat shaming in stereo.

The current list of insults includes: 
'Fat-back bastard'
'Fat-backed twat'
'Chub-no-rib-cage'
'Fat back'

'Mr Blobby Back'

'Fat Back to the Future'

The Missus even pinched my back during an 'intimate moment' and she was definitely suppressing laughter when I looked at her.