I've been learning martial arts for the past two years and a common problem is how certain anatomical features ‘hang’ when I’m doing this in the loose trousers provided as part of the uniform. I sought advice on this from several colleagues and a jockstrap seemed to be the most popular answer to my ‘personal arrangement’ problems so I finally bought one on Saturday as I had a martial arts grading on Sunday and didn't want anything flapping around.
Now before my shopping trip I was a jockstrap virgin and had no idea what to expect. So here’s a quick lesson for those not familiar with jockstraps and how they function...
The jockstrap is essentially three bits of elastic with a triangle of material thrown in. One bit of elastic goes around the hips and the other bits of elastic go around each leg below the buttocks. At the crotch is a material cradle which pulls everything together and keeps it compact. It’s a bit like a pair of Y-fronts with all the material cut out except for the front bit so it leaves everything uncovered except for the genitals themselves.
Now the jockstrap does it’s job but attractive and aesthetically pleasing it is not. So my only advice to any fellow jockstrap virgins who (a) buy one of these things and (b) want to check out that it’s actually on correctly is not to model it in front of your wife without first checking that your teenage stepson is not in the vicinity...
My wife thought my latest purchase hilarious but the boy gagged then threatened to dig his eyes out with a spoon so he’d never have to see such a horrible sight again.
I am a bad step-parent. Social Services have arrested people for less...
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