Snooker Loopy...

I am sat down watching the snooker and I point out that Peter Ebdon is now winning what was a tight match. My TV-watching colleague, however, is not a fan of Ebdon...

'I hate Ebdon.'
'Why?'
'He's a cock-sucker...'
'Metaphorically or literally?'
'Both.'
'Why metaphorically?'
'Tax exile scum. Brought up and nurtured in the UK then sods off abroad when he makes his dough.'
'And literally?'
'I suspect it...'
'So you really think Peter Ebdon takes men's penises in his mouth?'
'I can't prove it...'
'But you suspect it?'
'Yes.'
'But he's married... He has children.'
'I know.'
'And he's moved to Dubai. You really wouldn't go to an Arab state if men was your thing.'
'You would if it was aversion therapy...'
'Credit where it's due... The phrase Peter Ebdon sucks cock does have a very funny ring to it but I fear your main thesis is flawed as he is married and he has kids and he seems a bona-fide hetero-sexual to me.'
'He plays the cello.'
'I take it all back. Case closed...'
'You're being sarcastic aren't you?'
'Yes.'