Family Planning...

I have finished tidying up after cooking tea for me and the Boy. I have also trained like a lunatic today so I am sprawled out on the sofa in the kitchen watching some halfwit get himself a new arsehole ripped after bringing some ludicrous idea to the ever-smug moguls on Dragon's Den.

The Missus is also in the kitchen making herself something with no calories after returning from her exercise class when the Boy comes back into the kitchen and opens the fridge.
'Where's the Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream?'
I decide to fess up.
'I finished it.'
'You finished it? All of it?'
'I was hungry...'
'But that's my favourite.'
'Well I paid for the cunt!'

The Missus interjects with a polite 'Excuse me...'
I realise my mistake.
'Correction... We paid for the cunt...'

I turn to the Missus seeking approval but there is only a look of disdain on her face. Chicks, eh?