If The Cap Fits…

Me and the Missus are on holiday on a fabulous and pretty much untouched-by-tourism-and-Brits island called Lemnos.

The Boy had the choice to join us but instead stayed at home, officially relegating us from cool parents to the ‘olds’ he’d now rather not be seen out in public with.

So myself and the Missus are sat at breakfast and she is contemplating whether to stay by the pool or head to the beach.
‘I’d quite like to go the beach today but there’s nobody near the pool and it would be really quite and we’d pretty much have the placed to ourselves. Get rid of the hat. But on the other hand the beach is supposed to be pretty uncrowded in the morning…’

To be perfectly honest I am still a bit sleepy and half-listening to her and half-thinking about a comic I have recently started writing with a friend of mine. So I give my default response designed to prevent me from making a decision and therefore getting into trouble for making the wrong one.
‘Whatever you fancy, honey. I’m not fussed either way…’

Later in the day we are walking into the nearby town and the Missus is talking about the possibilities for daytrips but now I am slightly more with it.
‘There’s an evening boat trip to see dolphins which sounds like it could be quite nice as we’re still sailing as the sun sets and there’s also a day boat trip around the island which stops off at secret beaches and coves and the like. Get rid of the hat. I don’t think we should do the trip to the other island, though, because…’
‘Hang on. What about the hat?’
‘What hat?’
‘My hat. You said something about my hat…’
‘I didn’t.’
‘Yes you bloody did. You said “Get rid of the hat”’.
‘I was hoping you wouldn’t notice…’
‘Are you trying to get me to do what you want by subliminal suggestion?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why don’t you just ask me?’
‘Because I know you love that hat, even though it’s skanky and it doesn’t suit the shape of your head, and if I ask you get rid of it you’ll just dig your heels in because you’re a stubborn git.’
‘I love my hat…’
‘See…’
‘But subliminal suggestion. That’s a ridiculous idea…’
‘Yes. It is... Get rid of the hat.’