My Missus The Ninja...

It's a standing joke at From Beer To Paternity Towers that even though I am the martial artist and the boxer, the Missus remains the most dangerous member of the family...

Recently she has also developed Ninja-like skills of instigating then ignoring an argument and letting it drop before I even know what's going on. This has become known as one of her Ninja arguments because I don't know where they come from or how they mysteriously manage to vanish and leave no trace but they do exist.

A case in point was our recent trip to the cinema to see The Hangover. We arrive a few minutes before the film is due to start and I am stood in the queue for popcorn and drinks while she returns from the loo.

So I am quite happily waiting when she appears at my side with the following question.
'Why have you not got drinks and popcorn from the self-service kiosk?'
'Because I can get them here and they'll do it for me...'
'But there's a queue and it will save us time.'
'It will save us about 30 seconds...'
'I'm only trying to help...'
'Well you're not – and don't always assume that just because I choose to do something one way that your way is automatically better.'

This all seemed innocent enough but two sentences later I am on the receiving end of a barage that accuses me of drinking any drink we get to eat in the cinema, eating all the popcorn we get to eat in the cinema and of engineering the argument in the first place so I could fulfil my secret wish to buy nachos which she hates as she has to listen to me eat them. Then to top it all off I've apparently got the arse with her!

Then 30 seconds later it's all gone and for all intents and purposes her outburst could never have happened. But I know the Ninja argument crept in, did its damage then left again. And behind her contented eyes is the look of a stone-cold killer with shuriken in one hand and a katana in the other...