I have never been chatted up by a woman before. Not ever... In fact the only person who has ever chatted me up before was a gay Chinese antiques dealer called Billy who made his move when I was naked and getting dried after going swimming one dinnertime. At the time I thought he was being friendly when he was standing close to me also naked and getting dried and asking me if I worked out and what sort of bars I went to and if I fancied a drink.
My girlfriend at the time thought it hilarious when I told her I'd made a new friend and pointed out the glaringly obvious thing that I'd missed...
So I was equally stunned when myself and several of my pool-playing colleagues went out in Brighton after a county poool match and a very attractive woman came up to me and started talking and asking me about myself and started what I can only describe as stroking me and being generally affectionate...
So we talked for a while as my colleagues, who'd been trying to crack onto her and her friend, watched my embarrassed and half-witted attempts to play it cool. And when I realised we were officially nearing pre-mating ritual land I managed to slip my parental and marital status into the conversation. She then told she'd got married four weeks ago and was out with her mum and her sister celebrating – because her son and his girlfriend had just had a son.
So the demagraphic of people who find me attractive is gay Chinese men and grandmothers. It's official. I am eye candy...
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