Tuesday, September 20, 2005

In Da Club!

ITV recently screened a programme counting down it’s top 50 TV shows to celebrate 50 years of broadcasting and the good people who voted for this quite rightly put Coronation Street, 45 this year and still going strong, at the top of the pile. Sadly they also put Ant And Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway at number two and Footballers’ Wives at number five. This means that two sometimes funny Geordies and a soul-less glam-fest masquerading as drama are considered ‘better’ than such ground-breaking shows as World In Action, Rising Damp, First Tuesday, Whicker’s World and The Sweeney. God help us...

But even the dullards who decided to rate schlock over quality on ITV would find Five’s latest offering, Trust Me – I’m A Holiday Rep, too much to bear.

The basic premise of Trust Me – I’m A Holiday Rep is that six celebs get jobs as holiday reps in Cypriot party capital Ayia Napa. Then they go about their jobs as they struggle to toe the holiday company line and entertain the punters – with hilarious results!

Sadly Quentin Tarantino (‘Drink that sambuca or I’ll pop a cap in your ass!’) and Michael Jackson (who would have been great running the kids’ club) were unavailable so Five plumped for another six members of the great and good to take part. And what a six...

Step forward glamour model and breast exhibitionist Jodie Marsh, former New Kids On The Block singer Jordan Knight, Make Me A Supermodel reality show ‘star’ Jasmine Lennard, comedian Syd Little, broadcaster Nina Myskow and Coronation Street actor (well, for about six months three years ago) Scott Wright. And if that wasn’t enough quality the presenting duo is Nancy Sorrell (Mrs Vic Reeves) and Toby Anstis (the memorable host of TV Scrabble).

Words nearly fail me here and nothing you imagine can prepare you for the utter banality of this show. Its undoubted star is Jasmine Lennard, who bizarrely ‘shot to fame’ on another reality show about trying to find a supermodel. She’s worth a look if only to witness a woman whose sense-of-humour bypass operation was so successful that it also removed any sense of irony too. She’s a micro-celeb who IS stupid enough to think that she’s a real TV player and she can’t understand why nobody thinks she’s as important as she clearly does.

With this sort of celebrity competition cheery Syd Little is the show’s only saving grace – and those are words I never thought would pass my lips. Ever... It’s so bad it even makes an ITV drama starring Ross Kemp a preferable choice for an hour’s viewing!

Don’t say you weren’t warned...

1 comment:

Bearded Lady said...

(in hushed tones) I quite like it....