The missus got the boy up this morning so I had a lie-in and was awoken by the clink of a cup of tea at my bedside. But I’d had a bad dream and decided to let my better half know: ‘I dreamt I was sat in my office at home and Marge sat on my lap – and I dashed her head against the office table until she was dead. Then I got my Kill All Humans t-shirt and wrapped her body up in it and threw her in the bin. I decided I wasn’t going to tell you as you may think you were living with a homicidal nutcase.’
I should probably point out that Marge is one of our two cats. The missus stared before replying with her own night-time imaginings.
‘I dreamt you refused to sleep with me ever again so I had sex with Prince William instead.’
We stared at each other. I took a slurp from the cup.
‘Nice tea…’
Some dreams are better left undiscussed…
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