Philistines...

See... Told you so... You clueless imbecile idiot fucks... What have you done?

Well if you're not keeping up with the story so far I'll tell you what you've done. If you thought the Cadbury's drumming gorilla advert was really funny you're to blame because I flicked on the TV a few nights ago to see a TV advert for the Best Of Phil Collins on CD.

And it wasn't some satellite channel that no bugger watches. Oh no... it was ITV1 that several million hapless fucks watch. Then I switch on XFM, usually a bastion of decent music, and even they're discussing how Phil Collins may be cool again.

Well let's clear a couple of things up:
i) He is not cool. Never has been. Never will be.
ii) He is not good. Never has been. Never will be.
iii) His music is middle-of-the-road shite that would even make fellow mediocrity Chris 'One Eyebrow' De Burgh wince.
iv) He was even shit by 1980s standards and pretty much everyone else was shit then too.

So don't buy his records. By buying his records you are vindicating a no-talent zone and subliminally convincing everyone else to aspire to mediocrity like it's a good thing. It's not, he's not.

So pretend you're on Grange Hill if anyone offers you a Collins record and just say no. The man in worse than Sting and Ross Kemp all rolled into one. And he wrote Another Day In Paradise which makes Lady In Red look like a Beethoven symphony.