Holiday!

I’ve had a week off work and it’s been fun.

It was originally going to be me, the Missus and the Boy spending a week doing family bonding stuff in London, but it didn’t work out that way as the Missus was invited on a swanky week-long press trip to South Korea (prompting my joke that her tour guide must be a Koreas advisor).

So it’s been me and the Boy and we’ve had a pretty chilled out time of it. As he’s nearly 17 the last thing he wants is to spend large amounts of time with one of the ‘olds’ so he’s been out with his mates, strummed his new guitar, surfed the net and played one of his many game consoles. He's maybe done some homework too...

With the example of the Boy to follow and no Missus for moral guidance I’ve also reverted to teenage archetype and, apart from cleaning and cooking duties and a few bits of freelance writing, I’ve slummed it big style.

So here are the highlights of my slumming week so far:

i) Watched martial arts movies Azumi and Azumi 2. These are based on a Manga comic about a female assassin and are OK.
ii) Played lots of pool. I could have done something of use but I’m on holiday and I’ve neglected my pool for too long now.
iii) Enjoyed the best kebab in the world travelling back from a pool match in Sutton after sinking several pints of Guinness.
iv) Went to the pictures and watched the excellent and intelligent drama Rendition with the Boy. It was his choice of movie too. He’s very cool.
v) Watched half an hour of Deal Or No Deal and fantasised about punching that smug, bearded twat Noel Edmonds in the face… with a jackhammer… until his head disintegrates into a bloody red pulp. He really is totally loathsome and the show is one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen on screen with contestants bringing in crystal balls and pictures of loved ones to 'guide' their choices.
vi) I would watch Deal Or No Deal: The Snuff Movie, though, where Edmonds is chopped up and a separate part of him is put in the 15 boxes. There would be no prize but it would entertain me more than watch desperate people scrummage around for money…

So left to my own devices my life is not quite rock and roll but maybe simple pleasures like a kebab, a few films and a few pints of Guinness is where I’m at now.

Pipe and slippers here we come…