On Cue...

The Missus has put up with my obsessive compulsive behaviour for many years and even the Boy now refuses to get irked by my anal retentive ways.

In fact these days he rather lovingly refers to me as 'OCD freak boy'. This may seem cruel but it is a distinct improvement on him running off to his room screaming 'Don't let the strange man near me, mummy!' which hasn't happened for several months now.

But I fear I am in the foothills of a new mania because I've started to get interested in old snooker cues, particularly Riley Tombstone cues. I first saw one of these when I started playing at about 14 and ever since I have thought they were one of the most beautifully and simply designed things I've ever seen.

So I've decided I'm going to buy one and I'm regularly scouring eBay to secure a purchase. I've even contact a few cue dealers and, even worse, I've learnt one of my mates used to buy and restore old cues – until his missus suggested he could sell most of them and find a better use for the money.

But I fear I'm now unwittingly drawing him back in and we'll eventually be like two dirty old men but instead of secretly swapping pornography we'll be swapping cue information and eBay sightings without the knowledge of our wives. And we'll each probably have a special cupboard for our buys...

Marital subterfuge. I don't think we'll be very good at it...