Pearl ashes, oak apple, antique earth, amber gris, dragon’s blood, ultramarine ashes… Myself and the missus are choosing a colour to paint the bedroom. I had originally absolved myself of all responsibility for matching colours and selecting shades based on the fact that I have no ‘artistic eye’ for such matters.
But the missus has decided that she no longer likes the colour she originally selected so it’s back to the drawing (or painting) board. So I’m now helping the process…
‘How about this one?’
‘It’s black, isn’t it?’
‘Sort of…’
‘I am not painting our bedroom black. You are no longer a student.’
‘But it’d be really cool…’
‘I repeat. I am not painting our bedroom black.'
'But...'
'Ever.’
Pause.
‘How about this one then?’
‘It’s the shade down from black, isn’t it?’
‘Might be…’
‘Don’t make me hurt you…’
Pause. Change of tactic.
‘But black’s the new black.’
‘Not it’s not. Grey is.’
‘What’s black then?’
‘Black is what is not going in our bedroom.'
'OK...'
'Idiot.’
That’s that sorted then…
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