A Reader Writes...

Dear sir

Last night at home I was amazed to be settling into my armchair to view one of my ‘hobby videos’ and suddenly find my front door assailed by gangs of costumed youths demanding gifts with menaces.

Having spent a large part of my later years in Kuala Lumpa with my good friend and business colleague Kinky Norris, I had never experienced the imported tradition of ‘trick or treat’ borrowed from our US cousins before.

Now I don’t wish to appear anti-American as the Land of the Free has brought us many great practices such as legalised brothels, non-French Chardonnay and electing criminals as Presidents (still hope for Kinky yet I say). But is encouraging the young to begin careers as extortionists something we should be encouraging?

I decided not and immediately went out to the sweetshop then the chemist and upon returning home I placed the sweet wrappers around the incontinence-inducing pills I’d bought.

Perhaps when their parents have finished cleaning up the resultant mess they’ll think again about letting their little Jemimahs and Tarquins go around banging on the doors of total strangers demanding gifts reinforced by threats.

Yours

Colonel Dwight Micklewight
Pall Mall Club
London