It is Saturday morning. The Missus has been to her exercise class while I have hoovered and cleaned the house and we have just returned from doing the weekly food shop. Sadly, during the hoovering process a lamp got caught up in the hoover’s lead and fell to the floor and broke. As I am a martial arts warrior who fears nobody I did what any self-respecting martial arts warrior would do and threw the lamp away in the dustbin and hoped nobody would notice.
So the Missus sits and reads the paper while I read a book on an Israeli fighting system called Krav Maga. The Missus has been into the living room where the lamp used to reside and I realise I am on the verge of getting caught but decide to ride out the storm.
‘Have you noticed this?’ asks the Missus.
I fear it will be some feature on lamps as she hands me a section of the newspaper. Instead it is a column whose headline reads ‘It is my wife’s life purpose to drain my self-esteem at any opportunity’.
I fear it is a trap so I deny any knowledge of having read the article but instead she simply admits the following:
‘See. It’s not just me. Other women do it too!’
I go back to my book. So far so good. The lamp 'restructuring' incident has so far gone unnoticed…
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