The Missus and the Boy are concerned with my current obsession with martial arts. I try to explain this as best I can but after all their bating and sarcasm I eventually run out of patience and declare:‘Look I’m a fucking Ninja so shut up and leave me alone – or else…’
There is laughter. The Missus and the Boy head downstairs to the living room.
Silence. Then from downstairs the Missus asks:
‘Where’s the lamp?’
Bugger.
‘What lamp?’
‘The white glass lamp that was on the mantlepiece.’
‘I was hoovering and the wires got caught up and I accidentally knocked it over…’
There is a silence. Then comes the put-down…
‘Teach you that in Ninja school, did they?’
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