The Missus is away and I am at home cooking tea for me and the Boy.I shout him to come downstairs as the food is ready but there is no response. So I venture upstairs and knock on his bedroom door.
'What?' comes the half-grunt, half-annoyed response. So I open the door and decide to play the doting step-father.
'Your ever-loving step-daddy has put tea on the table. So come downstairs and keep me company and we can eat together. Please...'
The Boy looks at me in horror.
'You look and sound like a kiddy-fiddler when you do that...'
'Well if I was a kiddy-fiddler I'd go for better-looking teenagers than you. Downstairs. Food on the table...'
The Boy heads downstairs.
'Well if you did go for the good-looking kids they'd never have you anyway. You're just too ugly...'
Little shit. It's about time he went to university. Far away...
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