Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Other Woman News...



The Other Woman has just been promoted to Second Dan at Hapkido. 

She's trained in this Korean martial art for 13 years and she's come through a badly broken arm to reach this latest stage in her journey. I thought the grading where she was presented with her belt would be quite moving and I did feel a few teary moments. But it also just seemed right that she was getting a thing she's consistently worked for. I was dead chuffed for her. 

Even better, though, was a story involving the Other Woman appearing on a radio show where she was being interviewed in a pre-record and she was asked a question off-script. 

Asked about what the kindest thing she'd ever done involved, she honestly said that she once shared a chocolate bar with a friend. If you know the Other Woman and her obsessive love of all things chocolate, you'd fully understand that this registers as high as charitable giving and being a blood donor on her scale of random kind acts. 

But realising that this made her sound like the embodiment of selfishness, she then panicked and added 'Oh! But I do try to approach every day with a smile!' 

This is perhaps the greatest lie my beautiful but acid-tongued friend has ever told. It kept me and several other mutual friends amused for the rest of the evening.

So I may now have to bow to my best friend as she is a senior belt. But I will also keep myself entertained by doing so with a massive smile. Because I like to approach every bow to my Other Woman with a smile. I may even buy her a Little Miss Sunshine t-shirt. 

Wednesday, May 08, 2019

A Content Consumer Recommends...


Here are some things I am watching, reading or listening to at the moment that I think are very good. You may agree, disagree or not care. All of those are fine.

Films
Hellboy: Neil Marshall (The Descent and Dog Soldiers) takes over the directorial reins from dark magical fairytale master Guillermo del Toro to create a more wise-cracking and gory reboot. David Harbour is in decent form under the red make-up and prosthetics worn by Ron Perlman in the previous two outings. Milla Jovovic as the bad queen is basically walking the script. Ian McShane takes the John Hurt role. Not entirely convinced by this offering but I also didn’t hate it. 

The Ritual: A horror movie that seems to borrow lots from The Descent in that it’s about a group of friends who lose one of their number in a grim incident, then head off to the wilds to grieve and reconnect. Instead of an underground cave system in North Carolina, it’s the Scandinavian wilderness. Instead of a family of blind underground flesh-eaters, it’s part-animal and part-god creature from Norse mythology. Rafe Spall is watchable as the unlikeable arsehole who helps lead his pals into this mess.  

Music
The Unthanks: Unaccompanied as We Are: Folk singing sisters Rachel and Becky Unthank are joined by fiddle player and vocalist Niopha Keegan on a nationwide tour. The deal: no musical instruments and just the voices of the trio. Me and the Missus saw them at the Union Chapel in London and it was pared-down vocal sorcery as they covered a wide range of their own and other people’s material. It was haunting, wonderful and truly uplifting. The tour continues and tickets are still on sale here.

TV
Derry Girls: The second series of Lisa McGee’s immensely touching and laugh-out-loud sitcom about four Irish schoolgirls and their English pal is amazingly good. It’s a real ensemble piece loaded with pitch-perfect performances. I adore Siobhan McSweeney as no-shit Sister Michael and Tommy Tiernan’s beleaguered dad, Gerry. Ian McElhinney’s Granda Joe is also a wonderful and terrifying creation.

Back to Life: A truly beautiful comedy-drama written by Daisy Haggard and Laura Solon, which follows a recently released convict (Haggard) coming back to her home town. Hated by her local community and loved by her ageing parents, she faces various traumas as the audience gradually learns why she went to jail in the first place. Haggard is amazing and shows real depth as central character Miri, while Geraldine James and Richard Durden are fantastic as Miri's worried mum and dad. Adeel Akhtar nearly steals the show with a brilliantly understated performance as next-door neighbour Billy. The delicate pacing and cinematography filming the Kent coast deserve a mention, too.

Wednesday, May 01, 2019

Avengers: Endgame: A Short Review...


I am a huge comics fan and I thought Avengers: Infinity War was an amazing superhero blockbuster with surprising emotional impact. 

In fact, lots of films in the Marvel Comics Universe have been excellent. The Iron Man trilogy and the Guardians of the Galaxy movies were great fun, Black Panther and Thor: Ragnorok were astonishingly slick entertainment, and Captain America: Winter Soldier was intelligent and gripping. For my money, the latter was probably the best of the lot, too. 


Of course, I'll never forgive the studio for the abomination that was the 2003 Daredevil film. That remains such a painful experience that it has almost been expunged from my memory. The fabulous bits of the three Daredevil Netflix TV series did help heal that particular wound, though. 


But back to Avengers Endgame. I wanted this film to be really good. But I also wanted to be a handsome and competent lover and that never materialised either. 


In brief, and without revealing any major spoilers, I felt a bit let down by it all. It's not that it isn't very good. In parts it absolutely is. And some of the parts are really smart and really entertaining. But it's too many tiny bits and aren't-we-clever moments and I'm not convinced they all combine to create a dynamic enough whole. 


The plot felt a bit like an extended episode of Scooby-Doo where all the gang come together, thanks to a bizarre sequence of events, to kick off a rescue mission. And Thanos would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those pesky super-powered kids!


There is emotional involvement in it. There are a couple of sacrifice moments and a couple of cool bits of character development. It also rewards viewers who are familiar with all the previous Marvel films. But it also relies on that knowledge a bit too much and there's a lot of plot exposition to explain what the Scooby gang have to do to undo the Thanos 'snap'. 


There are lots of bits where it feels the movie's creators are slapping themselves on the back a little too much. One glaring moment of this occurs in a massive battle scene where the studio has a moment where it almost acknowledges how great it is at establishing strong female roles. I appreciate this is a callback to an earlier moment in another film but it also felt a bit shouty.


It's a real curate's egg of a movie for me. The script obviously had lots of work to do to resolve the narrative carnage that was created after Avengers: Infinity War. But it does succeed in doing that. Albeit in a bit of a sometimes clunky way. It does have emotional impact, too. And it lays some nice foundations for potential things to come.

Its key issue, though, is that Avengers: Infinity War created such massive high stakes that it could never match it for narrative tension. So it ends up feeling a little bit episodic and a bit too valedictory where all the key characters have their moments. 

On the plus side, and this is spoiler country, Howard the Duck does make a brief appearance and there's a fleeting mention for Captain Britain fans, too. 

I will still go see it again, though. And probably again...

Monday, April 29, 2019

A Content Consumer Recommends...


Here is a thing I watched recently. It first aired in December 2018, but I was late catching up with it. I'm glad I did, though...

TV: Brexit: The Uncivil War

US funnyman Tom Lehrer famously remarked ‘Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize’. This expression of incredulity has chimed with me a lot recently because I want to write something about Brexit. As a writer drawn to both satire and drama, however, I’m still unsure how to do it. 

How can you satirise the shambles of Brexit? The cast on the right is essentially a series of evil and privileged PG Wodehouse characters. Equally, how can you dramatise it? By examining how the left are directionless and treating it as a tragedy about lost ideals? 

Events move very quickly, too. It’s a hard subject to pin down. 

So I was fascinated to finally see James Graham’s comedy-drama, Brexit: The Uncivil War, first screened on Channel 4 and now available on All 4. I was intrigued by what he’d write. 

Graham’s script largely focuses on one element of Brexit, namely the role played by maverick political strategist and Leave campaigner Dominic Cummings (played by Benedict Cumberbatch with a Bobby Charlton combover).

During the story, viewers see Cummings lured back into the political fold to form the official Leave Campaign team. Then Cummings and his team win the designation as the official Leave Campaign Party, they get Michael Gove and Boris Johnson onboard, and Cummings finds a way to hack the political system using digital technology to micro target and engage disengaged voters. From then on, the Leave and the Remain campaigns slug it out until Cumming’s pyrrhic Brexit victory is secured. 

The 90-minute show opens with Cummings theorising in an office storeroom in a straight-to-camera piece. Intercut with this are scenes of him being interviewed for jobs, where he is introduced as the man behind Brexit. The opening titles then present a potted history of how the UK joined the EU and take viewers up to David Cameron announcing his referendum on the UK retaining membership. 

It’s a tidy piece of writing. Viewers meet the central character of Cummings and get a taste of his unorthodox ways and behaviour, and anyone not up to speed with how we got to Brexit is brought up to date. Graham’s script is excellent at using TV shorthand in this way. And it needs to be because, defined timeframe or not, there’s a huge amount of ground to cover and many players to introduce over its 14-month tale

Another time-saving device Graham employs is the use of captions to introduce key players. So actors Simon Paisley Day and John Heffernan secretly meet in the National Gallery to plot, and on-screen titles tell us the former is ‘Douglas Carswell… UKIP’s only MP… Leave’ and the former is ‘Matthew Elliott… Political lobbyist… Leave’. 

Next, viewers are introduced to Corrie ex Lee Boardman as Aaron Banks (‘UKIP donor… Leave…’) and the man whose political career he bankrolls, Nigel Farage (‘Former UKIP Leader… Very Leave…). This is a smartly written scene full of character information in shorthand form. 

Banks, dressed in shorts and a polo shirt, is attending a garden party at a plush country seat. The rest of the guests are in formal dinner wear and sup champagne. In contrast, he grabs a can of lager, then calmly watches the other guests run for cover when a helicopter carrying Farage lands in the grounds. 

An uncouth Farage interrupting a society event is a nice metaphor for his bulldozer presence in British politics. In a later cute scene-cum-metaphor, Farage and Banks are later seen watching the TV as they lose the official Leave Campaign Party designation. The TV, the only light source illuminating the room, is turned off and both men are left sitting on a sofa together, clueless and in the dark. 

There are also a couple of other funny scenes that deserve noting. One involves Gove and Johnson spying one another on opposite balconies at the opera, and the other sees Remain Campaign Director Craig Oliver on a conference call with a horrifyingly jocular David Cameron and a serpent-like Peter Mandelson. 

There are serious moments, though, heralded by intentional changes of pace. 

The first happens when the rival campaigns are officially launched amid a montage of news footage and various politicians repeating their respective campaign mantras. Viewers then see Remain Campaign Director Oliver confused about why their campaign message isn’t landing at a focus group. Then one frustrated woman from a poor constituency invites him to ‘Come to where I’m from’, before explaining how economic uncertainty is not a concern for people who are already deprived. In one of the few emotional outbursts in Graham’s script, she continues, shouting: ‘I'm sick of feeling like I am nothing. Like I know nothing!'

A similar moment to this occurs when Cummings, Elliott and Carswell visit a rundown estate to meet one of the latter’s constituents. The unemployed man they visit tells the trio ‘No-one from a political party has knocked on that door since the 1980s.’

Both moments offer a beautiful articulation of the anger, frustration and abandonment felt by people neglected by many of the current political class. 

The other serious moment occurs following the murder of Jo Cox MP. Viewers see this news broadcast on TV sets at the HQs of both campaigns. A sombre black tile appears on the screen giving the facts about her death. 

The next scene sees Cummings and Oliver on opposite platforms at Moorgate Tube Station. The two go for a pint and they discuss the day’s events, wondering whether they're creating a politics that is 'Unsophisticated, uncivilised and, worst of all, unkind' and ‘Feeding a toxic culture where nobody trusts or believes anything.’ 

It’s another genuine moment of reflection in a fast-moving script. 

The drama closes with polling day and the result. There’s also a neat post-script scene set in 2020. This shows Cummings being asked about his role in Brexit in front of a committee investigating the legalities of the campaign. Cummings argues his vision to crash the political system and reboot it was not flawed. But the politicians were. He argues: ‘You rebooted the same operating system of self-serving and small-thinking bullshit.’ 

It’s a thought-provoking ending, particularly when considering how things have moved on since this drama was first aired in December 2018. 

It's a fabulous piece of telly. 

Thursday, April 25, 2019

How to Be 50: Part VI...


I am a lucky man when it comes to women. I punch well above with my weight with my much-loved and frequently sarcastic wife, and I am lucky enough to have grown and kept close friendships with several other female friends I've developed close ties with. 

I also have my Other Woman. The latter and her long-suffering boyfriend visited Brooks Towers recently. Earlier in the week, she'd promised me that she'd bought me a 50th birthday present like no other. With the Other Woman, this could mean it was an incredibly tender and thoughtful present demonstrating how much she values our friendship... or it was something vaguely trashy and insulting designed to entertain her and everyone else at my expense. 

Two choices: Punters place your bets... now! 

Within her bag of gifts were many things that included the number '50'. These included 50 Jewish Home Cooking Recipes, the album 50 by Rick Astley, a 50p piece, 50% cocoa vegan chocolate, the comedy film, 50 Shades of Black, and many other 50-based things. 

The Other Woman clearly remains an adorable, piss-taking idiot. And now she's passed her Second Dan at Hapkido, she's an adorable, piss-taking I have to bow to in class. 

Fuck! I may leave the country...

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

How to Be 50: Part V...


I have now done my first Hapkido lesson and my first No-Gi BJJ lesson as a 50-year-old. The pre-birthday aim was that I always intended to train until I was 50. Post-birthday, that goalpost has now shifted to 55, but both classes still offered nice moments.

At hapkido, I was running the class and I'd planned to do lots of pad striking. But the lesson time sort of ran away with me. That was a shame as I'd picked up a couple of nice new punching drills from the MMA classes I've been attending and I wanted to bring these into the hapkido class. 

I then did an open mat session at No-Gi BJJ, which involved 90 minutes of straight sparring. I was ruined by the end of this, but I got a couple of things right alongside getting lovingly murdered by the senior belts. I also got to wear my new Masters Division rash guard (pictured above), which was a birthday present.

The rash guard is made by a friend who designs BJJ clothing and fight wear. His company is called Bain and I have quite a few of his t-shirts, too. One of these is part of a series of ranked t-shirts with the name of your BJJ belt colour written on it in that colour. 

Being a blue belt at BJJ may be a humble brag to many. But I wear my ranked t-shirt with a tiny bit of pride as I know how hard I worked to get that blue belt. Sadly, somebody recently looked at my ranked t-shirt and she told me that her daughter used to like that band as well.

So one of my favourite shirts can also be mistaken for a fan t-shirt of the band, Blue. Humble brag crushed. Move on...

How to Be 50: Part IV...


The recent birthday trip to Whitby was ace for many other reasons than seeing lots of cool stuff and doing research for the graphic novel I'm currently writing with a friend.

My favourite conversation from the weekend went as follows when myself and the Missus were trying to find the Gothic Bazaar marketplace.

The Missus: 'Do you know where we're going?' 

Me: 'Just follow the Bride of Dracula and the Ghost Pirate.'
The Missus: 'That's a good plan.'

We will never have that conversation again while sane. 

Saturday, April 20, 2019

How to Be 50: Part III...


The Missus took me away to Whitby for the weekend for my 50th birthday. Here are some of the highlights with me in sort of travel writer journalist mode…

199 Steps & Church of St Mary
The 199 steps leading from Church Street up to the Church of St Mary offer breath-taking views of Whitby town and the harbor. The fact they also lead up to the church featured in Dracula make it a must-see attraction for lovers of the Bram Stoker novel. Fans can sit on the benches and look out to sea in the same way that Lucy Westerna does in the book when she chats to the old fishermen just before the Lord-of-the-Undead-carrying ship, Demeter, arrives.

The church itself is quite sweet and well worth a look inside, but the real attraction is the spooky cemetery with its graves of pirates and mariners, and the amazing scenes looking out from the East Cliff into the North Sea.

Whitby Abbey 
The Whitby Abbey complex has just had a reboot and it’s a truly inspiring place to while away two or three hours. 

The entrance, visitor centre and gift shop are all housed in a 17th century mansion. The visitor centre tells the story of the Abbey, which was founded in the seventh century and hosted the Synod of Whitby in 664AD. It then continues its tale through its reinvention as a Benedictine abbey founded after the Norman Conquest to its dissolution under Henry VIII and beyond. 

There’s also a first edition of the novel, Dracula, by Bram Stoker, in a display case at the end of the exhibition. 

But it’s the ruins of the abbey itself that are the real jaw-dropper. Perched on the edge of the East Cliff at Whitby, the imposing ruins are large in scale and still possess genuine beauty and grace. There’s also part of the ceiling still standing at one end, too. 

It’s an amazing place set in a stunning location. It’s utterly beautiful. And it’s less than £10 to get into if you’re an adult.

Whitby Brewery 
The Whitby Brewery does two things really well. 

First off, it brews really excellent beer. My favourite offering was the Whitby Jet Porter, which is smooth and rich with licorice and coffee flavours. The Saltwick Nab Ale is also a really lovely drink, with vanilla and malty tones, and the Whaler is eminently drinkable bitter with a sweet and citrus taste. 

Secondly, the brewery has a shop and a bar on site, so visitors can buy beer from the shop or the pump and chill out in either the indoors bar room or the exterior beer garden. As an added bonus, there are also regular folk music and other gigs on in the bar room. 

It’s an excellent place and it’s all housed a converted barn next door to Whitby Abbey. It’s well worth a visit. And the beer is excellent. And I am repeating this information because it is that good!

Whitby Museum 
We did a Whitby Ghost Walk with local tour guide Dr Crank and he told us several tales about the Hand of Glory, an enchanted tool for burglars made from the severed hand of a hanged man, a magic potion and a lit candle. He also explained how Whitby Museum in Pannett Park had one of the few remaining examples of this in its collection and he encouraged us to pay the place a visit. 

We’re glad we did because it’s a hidden gem among the many treasures that Whitby has to offer. The ground floor houses a great collection of fossils from the Jurassic and Cretaceous periods, plus sections on birds and mammals, textiles, Whitby jet, boat building and much more. The section on the town’s maritime history, James Cook and William Scoresby is fascinating. The Hand of Glory, meanwhile, remains a spooky sight. 

Admission for adults is £5 and that lasts for one calendar year. It’s amazingly good value. My advice: go and enjoy.

Whitby Walks
My Missus took me to Whitby for the Goth Weekend in April and we decided we wanted to do a ghost walk. Online research suggested Dr Crank provided the best of the local tours, so we rocked up at the Whalebone Arch outside the Royal Hotel at half seven… and it was excellent. 

Dr Crank met us, and the rest of the group, and he kept us entertained and informed for about an hour and a quarter. He took us down main roads, side streets and alleyways, and he regaled us with spooky tales about the genesis of Dracula, a horrifying hound, a creepy churchyard coach, bedeviled boozers and several spectres. He also included lots of quirky information about the history of Whitby, including a couple of macabre yarns about the Hand of Glory, an example of which resides at the local museum. 

Dr Crank was an entertaining, knowledgeable and fascinating guide. I loved the additional twist of why he decided to become a full-time tour guide. Sadly, you’ll have to do the tour to find that out. 

Even better, the tour cost £5. Ridiculously cheap for something this good! 

Thursday, April 11, 2019

How to Be 50: Part II...


I was a late starter, but I've now been a martial arts student for the past 16 years. 

I initially started training in the Korean martial art of Hapkido and, alongside this, I boxed for a few years. I've trained in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for about seven years, too, alongside my continuing hapkido studies. This year, I also started training in no-gi Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, wrestling and a bit of MMA. 

To nutshell these experiences and the people I've trained under and with: they've all been nothing short of wonderful.

In reality, I won't ever be the fighter I may have once hoped to be. But I'm doing OK and, alongside developing massively improved fitness and stamina and learning some self-defence skills, training has so many other benefits. 

I met my best friend while doing hapkido and I've made so many other close pals that it seems crazy to think this is something that I once never did. It also majorly helped me deal with stress when the corporate carnage of work got too crazy in my last job. 

One of the greatest benefits of martial arts training, though, is that it keeps you humble and it keeps your perspective on things real. I've now trained with so many good people that I'd never assume I know how to do techniques. I often have a rough idea of how to do a thing and through constant training you slowly refine this thing. Then once you think you have it, a whole new area of improvement and correction opens up. 

And the cycle of improvement goes on. 

This is excellent for instilling humility and killing arrogance and training martial arts keeps finding ways to re-inform and repeat this lesson in humility. A case in point was this week. 

I'm generally one of the older people at the schools where I train and I do get off on this a little bit. I'm often exhausted and a bit broken by the end of a two or three-hour session, but I take some pride in the fact I'm still hanging with people some 25 or 15 years younger than me. 

Then a new guy joined the gym and he's 69. Not only is he 69, but he's got skills and he puts in the graft. That dude is my new hero. I will never complain about old age again. It's just not a valid excuse any more.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

How to Be 50: Part I...

In three days, I turn 50. To many approaching this milestone, this is a daunting prospect. But I'm genuinely looking forward to it. I think my fifties will be a good decade because my head is in the best place it's ever been and I think I'm getting back to my best in terms of creating again. 

There are several reasons for this: I am not working in a disgracefully stressful job; I have no immediate money worries; I am spending lots of quality time with the Missus and we remain ridiculously happy together; I am back into a solid routine of martial arts training and loving learning new skills in no-gi BJJ, wrestling and MMA; and I have several writing projects on the go that I'm really excited about. 

I'm in a good place. Even the looming prospect of a potential return to work later in the year cannot damped my spirits.

The writing is also going really well. I have just finished the first draft of a script for a graphic novel I'm doing with an artist friend, I have a short play idea to finish about a murder, then I have rewrites on two plays to finish before embarking on a new idea. I am daft excited about the latter. It's a real chamber piece with just four characters and I'm already seeing the scenes and the conflicts.

Who knows? I could write something that lands big-style yet. 

A Content Consumer Recommends...


Here are some things I am watching, reading or listening to at the moment that I think are very good. You may agree, disagree or not care. All of those are fine.

Comics 
The Uncanny X-men: The Dave Cockrum, John Byrne and Chris Claremont run of the second team, kicking off with Giant Size X-men No.1, is still excellent stuff third or fourth time round. The storytelling may be a bit crude at times, but it is still a rollicking ride all the way up to the Dark Phoenix saga and Days of Future Past.

Films 
Captain Marvel: The latest offering from the Marvel Comics Universe sees Brie Larson as inter-galactic warrior Carol Danvers taking on alien bad guys. Or are they bad guys? Retro fun aplenty.

The Guilty: Superior small-budget Danish thriller following a police officer working the switchboard during a night shift who becomes embroiled in the kidnapping of a young mother. Directed by Gustav Moller and starring Jakob Cedergren.

Music
Slow Readers Club: Manchester band who are like a more tuneful, less mournful and pop-based version of Editors. The album, Cavalcade, is well worth a listen.  

Tom Petty: The back catalogue is so rich and it has so much to offer that I am still finding gems I hadn't heard after three months of immersion. You and I Will Meet Again still breaks my heart every time. 

TV
Coronation Street: Back on its game following a big set-piece storyline after the collapse of the factory roof and the death of Rana Habeeb. So many things to enjoy, including a touching Muslim funeral, dimwit builder Gary Windass falling foul of loan shark and a guilty Carla Connor going into meltdown.

Fleabag: Series two of the biting, touching, bleak and wonderful comedy written by and starring Phoebe Waller-Bridge. I want another series, but the ending was so beautiful I'm not sure there should be one.

The Office: US sitcom inspired by the Ricky Gervais original, which becomes its own gloriously surreal and quite moving entity over nine series.

Vikings: The latest season sees the sons of Ragnor Lothbrook up to all manner of shenanigans in both the UK and Scandinavia. Elsewhere, Floki endures more trials in his remote and barren new settlement.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Something New! Sort of...


One of the great joys of both redundancy and working from home is the fact I have a martial arts school a five-minute walk away. This means I am back into a decent routine of training both BJJ and No Gi BJJ. I am also averaging a weekly hapkido class in London, so I'm training different things with different people and it's fab. 

I did a 90-minute BJJ class last night and I decided I'd stick around to do an MMA class, too. Confession time: I am a huge UFC fan and I am currently watching them in chronological order. But I've never taken the step into training MMA, even though I have trained in several of the separate skills sets (striking, grappling, ground-fighting) that make up MMA. 

But last night, my curiosity got the better of me and I thought I'd risk turning my 90-minute training session into a 180-minute one. And it was pretty god fun. 

We mainly worked on movement drills and hand strikes. A lot of it was quite similar to many of the boxing drills I was taught while boxing several years ago, but the defence is slightly different as as kicks and knees also have to be avoided.

My head movement at slipping and rolling was a bit off the pace and my tight shoulder blocking to deflect hand strikes was a bit wayward. But my punching and combinations remain decent and I learnt a very good new movement drill involving a swinging pad. 

I may do some more of this. My crap knees and advancing age, however, may dictate that this is only an occasional pleasure...

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Hapkido Success! Sort of...

It's been a while since I graded at hapkido. In fact, it's been about two and half years. There are several factors involved in this: work was fuck awful, I picked up injuries every time I was preparing to grade, and I fell out of love with hapkido for a bit and I wanted to do more BJJ.

But with work no longer an issue (hurray!) and with my ongoing injuries currently sort of manageable, I graded a few weeks ago and passed. So my black belt now has a brown stripe on it. Make your own gags.

I thought my sparring at the grading was pretty decent, but the rushing techniques I was being tested on felt a bit ropey. Some of this was my own stupid fault. I was knackered by the time I came to demonstrate because I'd been volunteering to be an opponent at every opportunity when I should have been conserving my strength. 

But some of it was also the fact that I'm still not really feeling these techniques yet. I can do them to an OK level and I have a decent grasp of the mechanics, but they don't feel ingrained in the same way that other skills sets did at that stage.

But that happens at hapkido. There are certain technique sets on the hapkido syllabus that I really like, such as the judo-style throws, the punch blocks, the kick blocks, the choking defences, and a lot of the standing joint and wrist locks. But it's fair to say that rushing skills are not my favourites. In fact, they may well be my least favourite. 

On the plus side, I have time to ingrain these. I don't think I'll be grading again until the back end of the year as I have 20 knife defence skills to learn for my red stripe. 

Then, after that, it's grading for my second dan. 

It will be pretty cool to get my second dan. When I started hapkido in 2003, a black belt seemed like a far-off and very unlikely thing. But doing hapkido has seen me diversify and box for two years, train and compete at BJJ, and now do no-gi BJJ. 

So if I never make second dan and if it it all stops tomorrow, I've had a blast doing hapkido and all the other martial arts I've sampled or trained in on the back of it. 

I obviously hope it doesn't stop. I want to be training up to my 60s. This, obviously, is the new goal. I promised myself I'd be training into my 50s and in seven weeks I'll have achieved that. It's a small milestone for a comics-loving geek who never really did sport.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

The Write Stuff...


I have done the maths with my redundancy money and I know how long I have before I have to return to work. To be honest, I have always known this, but I'm now looking at it slightly more seriously.

Fortunately, this is still a long way off, which means I still have plenty of time to plan, strategise and work on my writing. But I know it is highly unlikely that the writing will pay enough or land anywhere soon enough to make it a viable wage earner. If ever.

This is both a depressing thought but also an inspiring one. So I can either sit on my arse and be a bit depressed about it all, or I can use it as a rallying call and kick into gear and just work harder to give myself a better chance of success. 

I am choosing the latter course of action. Because I hate sounding like a whining fucker. Whining in an East Yorkshire accent always sounds terrible.

Monday, January 21, 2019

A Content Consumer Recommends...


Here are some things I am watching, reading or listening to at the moment that I think are very good. You may agree, disagree or not care. All of those are fine.


Comics
Jessica Jones: Alias by Brian Michael Bendis: Superior storytelling and fantastic art. Gritty, urban and funny. 

A Walk Through Hell by Garth Ennis: Slow-burn horror story about two special agents who end up in a terrifying and increasingly bizarre situation.

Films
The Favourite: Rachel Weiss, Olivia Colman and Emma Stone star in this offbeat historical drama. Cracking script and great performances all round.

Stan and Ollie: Heart-warming story about the greatest double act of all time fighting against the dying of their comedy light and doing a tour of the UK.

Music
Kate Bush Remastered Volume I: Wonderful remastered studio albums from one of the most important UK musical artists of the 20th century. I want Volume II. Now please.

Kelly Moran: Pared-down electronica minimalism with influences from all sorts of wonderful places.

Podcasts
The Joe Rogan Experience: Comedian, UFC commentator and BJJ officianado with more ace guests and sometimes potty-mouthed chat. The Mike Tyson interview is beautiful.

The Disrupters: A journalist and an entrepreneur chronicle the ups and downs of several business success stories. Much better and much more entertaining than it sounds.

Dear Joan and Jericha: Julia Davis and Vicki Pepperdine play often vicious, clueless and self-obsessed agony aunts. Dark and very funny.

TV
Dirty Money: Compelling Netflix documentary series exposing the big bad folk behind stunning corporate crimes, scams and cover-ups. 

Coronation Street: The biggest TV show in the UK is threatening to get back to its very best with missing money and a pregnant teen. Needs a killer, though!

Emmerdale: Still entertaining and moving in equal measures. Bob's descent into homelessness (pictured above) is a fantastic story flying under the mainstream soap radar.

Friday, January 11, 2019

New Start...


Tonight, I start a new grappling journey. Actually, it's the continuation of an old grappling journey, but it is at a new home in Guildford. 

So here goes my start at no-gi grappling. I even have a new rash guard...

Austerity Statistics No.2…


A recent United Nations investigation concluded that 14million British people are living in poverty. A junior minister was on hand to answer the 13 other MPs who attended the debate based on this shocking report. 

So 14million people living in poverty and a total of 14 MPs present to discuss it.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Austerity Quotes No.1...

'Poverty exists not because we cannot feed the poor, but because we cannot satisfy the rich...'
Anonymous

Austerity Statistics No.1…

In the last fast five years, the 1000 richest people in Britain have increased their wealth by £274billion.

Friday, January 04, 2019

New Year, New Start...


Christmas and New Year are done and I'm on track for sorting my shit out for 2019. The last year saw seven months of torment and stress at work, followed by redundancy, followed by five months of de-stressing and transitioning to a new part of my life. 

Whatever that new life eventually is - and there are several versions of it depending on what me and the Missus decide to do - my battleplan for 2019 is to spend as much of the year as I can writing and not seeking paid employment. The great fear with this is that I will basically chill out and spend too much time procrastinating and not enough time delivering work.

So I have to train myself to be better than my worst excesses. But I have pedigree in that area.

Because I've worked in and delivered success in a highly stressful job and work environment for the past five or six years, I know I have the work ethic and the discipline to succeed. And because I continue to train martial arts at the age of 49, I have additional work ethic, discipline and lots of resilience.

Anyway, I made the above notes to self, which are now pinned next to my computer screen. I will report back. 

First job for January: finish the script for the graphic novel. Go!