Balls!

I went training and was in the changing room yesterday when an elderly gentleman came out of the gym and undressed to go to the shower.

He was mid-fifties and he stripped naked and instead of grabbing a towel and heading off to the showers as most people do he paraded around the changing room for a good five minutes. This was odd but what was odder still was the fact that he had the smallest knob and the hangiest, biggest testicles I have ever seen. They were literally inches away from his knees.

I found it hard not to snatch a few sneaky glances and I caught somebody else doing the same. It could have been quite embarrassing for two young men to be caught staring at an old man's testicles but they were so extraordinary that when we both caught each other's eyes we merely shrugged as if to say: 'They are quite spectacular – and just a little bit freaky...'

Anyway, Big Plums headed off to the showers, or so I thought, and I put my head down to put my socks and shoes on then tie my bootlaces. It was then I saw something move in my peripheral vision and I raised my head as Big Plums eased his way past me to retrieve his shower gel. And they were inches away from my face.

I had nightmares about it last night and I still feel sullied...