Alpha Male...

I had a discussion with the Missus last week and made a comment suggesting she'd landed on her feet to snag an alpha male like me for a husband.

Her reaction was to snort with derision and point out that the alphabet was not long enough to classify the type of male I actually was. But I chose to ignore her words and rise above it as that's what an alpha male would do.

So tonight we are watching a BBC1 TV show called John Barrowman: The Making of Me. In this Barrowman, a gay man so far out of the closet he would never find his way back from Narnia, did some research into what it was that made him gay. Was it genetic, was it environment, was it upbringing, etc?

It was a pretty good programme and Barrowman remains an eminently likeable TV personality, but at one point some science bodkin told him that an easy way to find out if you are more masculine than feminine is to find out whether your ring finger is longer than your index finger. If this is the case it suggests that there was a high level of testosterone in the womb when you were forming and so are very male. If it's the other way round, however, it suggests there was not as much testosterone so you will be more feminine.

The Missus tried this test first and her ring fingers were longer than her index fingers. I toyed with the idea of pointing out that this may explain her continual aggression and violence but thought it would not be politic to mention this. The Boy then tried this and he is also of a fervently masculine bent.

Finally I tried it and it's apparently astounding that I'm not wearing dresses. But I've always secretly thought I was a gay man trapped with the body and desires of a raging heterosexual. And so apparently has the Missus...